The Trial of Admiral Shepard (Revised)
by ougabouga
Summary: After the mysterious events that ended the Reaper War, Shepard moves to a new home in an attempt to move on. But the ghosts of his past are not so easily avoided, and some ghosts are more tangible than others. A revised and updated version of a tale that appeared a week earlier.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: _This is a revised/updated/expanded version of this story which was originally published last week. After criticism and reflection I went back to revise the story in hopes of improving it. Sometimes I get tired of a story I'm writing and I rush to finish it, eager to move onto other things. This story was a victim of that unfortunate tendency. The beginning of the story is largely unchanged except for a few minor things. The later chapters have more changes and have been expanded. The ending is less sudden and I feel more satisfying. I hope you feel the same. I hope you enjoy this little tale of mine and I look forward to your (hopefully constructive :P) comments. _

* * *

**The Trial of Admiral Shepard.**

**Chapter 1: Awakening**

_The verdict doesn't arrive in a single moment; the trial transforms itself little by little into a verdict_. –Franz Kafka

There was a pain in his toes. Throbbing. Like his blood was boiling and was pleading to burst free from the shell of his skin. The pain wasn't just it his toes. It spread like wildfire. From his toes to his feet, his legs, his stomach, his arms and finally up to his head. That's when he screamed and opened his eyes. He was in a dark room. Windowless. Readouts surrounding him, illuminating the dark room. The ground was dusty and dirty. There were other gurneys and stretchers around him. Holes in the walls. Lights activated in the hallway beyond the doorway. A hallway. Rushing footsteps. People rushing in.

"Holy shit! He's awake!" One of them said. A human woman. She was wearing white scrubs, heavily stained with blood. A nurse? She came to him and lightly touched his shoulders. He pushed her away as the pain increased a thousand fold.

"Shepard?! You need to relax! You're in a field hospital! We're here to help!"

"The Reapers?!" He screamed. The pain was burning him from inside. He tried to sit up and that's when he realized he was covered in bandages. His legs. Chest. Arms. Even his face.

"Get another sedative! Stat! 180 CC's!"

"Are you sure? That could kill him!"

"This is Shepard we're talking about!" The nurse shouted. She turned to look at him.

"You've suffered severe burns! We're out of medigel! We just need to sedate you for the time being!"

"Tali!" He cried aloud.

There was a stinging sensation in his arm. His eyesight clouded over and he felt drowsy and dizzy. And then his world went black and quiet.

* * *

"He's waking up, doctor."

"Good. Page the admiral." Scurrying footsteps. That voice was familiar. He opened his eyes. Above him was a familiar face. It took a few moments for his mind and his voice to synchronize.

"Dr. Chakwas?"

She smiled at him. "It's good to see you again, Commander. It hasn't been a year, and I doubt your system could handle it, but I think you owe me some Serrice Ice Brandy."

He struggled to sit up. Dr. Chakwas pressed a button on her Omni-Tool and the back rest rose. The room was clean and stale. The walls were white as was the floor. He was in a bed with sheets just as white. He pushed the sheets away. His right leg was in a cast and he was wearing a blue cotton jumpsuit. His skin was discoloured and dry. He jerked his head towards Dr. Chakwas.

"The Reapers?"

"It's all right, Commander. You've saved the day."

Shepard stared in bewilderment. "You mean... it's over?"

She nodded.

"And Tali? The crew?"

"Tali's alive. As is most of the Normandy's crew."

"Most?"

"EDI didn't survive as well as six other crew members. I'm sorry, Commander." She touched his arm. He looked away. Another friend, a new life, lost.

"Where am I?"

"You've been in a medically induced coma for almost a month. You're onboard the SSV Lethe, Admiral Hackett's flagship. You've suffered severe burns over most of your body and a broken leg. Countless contusions and lacerations. Your skin has been largely healed due to medigel and skin grafts. Your cybernetic implants have served you well, you wouldn't be alive otherwise."

"Shepard?" A husky voice bellowed. Admiral Hackett appeared in the doorway. He smiled upon looking at the Commander. His hair was ghostly white, the lines of his hardened face were deeper, the scars more pronounced. The deep blue of his uniform made his white hair seem even paler, even his skin seemed to have lost its hue. He looked like he'd aged fifteen years. The Admiral snapped to attention and saluted.

"Admiral." Shepard saluted back, though his arm felt weak, as if he wasn't in full control of it.

"It's good to see you." Hackett said, walking into the room. He nodded to Dr. Chakwas who stood and left the room.

"For some time it looked like you wouldn't come back."

"What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. What do you remember?"

"I remember running towards the beacon. And a blinding red light... And that's it."

Hackett nodded. "Somehow you made it onto the Citadel and activated the Catalyst. A power surge came from the Citadel. A wave spread through the entire galaxy using the Mass Relay network. The wave damaged the relays. We're not sure how but the wave shut down the Reapers."

"All of them?" Shepard's voice began cracking.

"All of them. Even Harbinger. It crashed in the North Atlantic, not far from the Titanic's remains."

"So...the Reapers...are gone?" Shepard's eyes moistened.

Hackett nodded.

Shepard buried his head in his hands and wept. For the first time since Akuze. How many tears had he pushed back in the past few years? Even after his failure at Thessia, in his quarters, he and Tali desperately holding another to hold against the darkness he had not cried. But he was now. It was over. He never imagined a world without the Reaper threat.

"That's not all." Hackett said softly. Shepard didn't look up and so he couldn't see Hackett's regard of concern and bewilderment.

"The wave affected not just the Reapers, but all forms of synthetic life. The Geth are gone, as are any AIs."

"All I went through on the Heretic Station, the Dreadnaught, Rannoch... what Legion did, it was all for nothing."

"No. You proved that peace between synthetics and organics is possible. You ended a war that had lasted for centuries. You assembled the largest alliance in the history of sentient life. You saved the galaxy. No one will ever forget that. You did the impossible."

Shepard continued to weep, his body convulsing and shaking.

"I can come back, Commander."

"No. What else?"

"There's a lot we still don't know. We found your body not far from the Conduit. How you made it back from the Citadel is another mystery. We found you not far from Anderson's body. I'm sorry. It took some time before we could stabilize you enough to bring you aboard. The Normandy crash landed on a planet in the Arcturus system. Six crew members died in the crash. The repairs took some time but they're on their way back home. We're due to rendezvous in a day. I can get a com link for you."

"I'd like that. What else?"

"It's been a month since we retook Earth. All the civilizations are rebuilding. Everyone's been hit badly. It'll take decades to undo the damage the Reapers did in a few weeks. Some of the damage will never be undone. But all the work you've done has paid off. Most of the races are pitching in, supporting another. I knew you could do it, Shepard. Anderson believed in you. Your crew and friends believed in you. The entire galaxy believed in you. I'm promoting you to Rear Admiral. You've earned it."

Shepard's lowered head brusquely nodded. His promotion meant nothing to him.

"I'll leave you for now. Speak to Dr. Chakwas if you need anything." Hackett saluted, he didn't wait for Shepard to acknowledge him and left the room. Dr. Chakwas came back in the room and sat next to him.

"How can I help you, Comm... Admiral?"

"Get the Normandy ...I need to speak to them." Dr. Chakwas activated her Omni Tool.

"SSV Lethe to Normandy. Lethe calling Normandy."

There was a brief delay before a familiar voice buzzed through. Shepard lifted his head and a hint of a smile landed upon his face.

"Normandy here."

"I have someone who wishes to speak with you." Dr. Chakwas removed her Omnio Tool, gave it to Shepard and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Joker. It's Shepard."

"Commander! It's you?" There was a strange ambivalence in his voice. "Hey guys, I have the Commander on the comms!" Joker trailed off.

"I heard you wrecked my ship." Shepard teased. He thought he heard dozens of rushing footsteps in the background.

"Yeah, well... I did a pretty good job of breaking it in." The inflection in his voice was off, almost like he was angry.

"Shepard!" A dozen familiar voices interrupted. There was one voice which stuck out more than the others.

"Tali!"

"It's you!" He could almost see her. Her voice was cracking, weak but hopeful.

"Yeah, it's me." He answered calmly. Another onslaught of tears was unleashed.

"Shepard...I...I... knew you'd make it."

"Well... I had one good reason to."

"You two want a room, already?"

"Jealous, Garrus?"

"No, unlike some people I have standards...oomph!" There was a loud sound of metal hitting something fleshy, followed y a crackle of laughter coming from the Omnio Tool.

"Ouch!"

"You forgot I have a shotgun. I just reminded you!"

"I said that on purpose. You know... to get a laugh. Really."

"It's good to hear your voice, Shepard."

"Likewise, Traynor. "

"I'm glad when we get there you'll be awake."

"I'm looking forward to seeing all of you."

"As we all are, Commander." Javik said.

"How are you, Javik?"

"I'm beginning to tire of Dr. T'soni's questions more than I tired of the Reapers wiping out my civilization."

"How are you, Liara?"

"Now that I know you're alive I'm... much better." He could tell she was fighting to keep her normal stoic self.

* * *

"What's your impression, Doctor?" Admiral Hackett was waiting outside Shepard's room.

"He's lucky to be alive."

"I mean his psychological state."

"Even ignoring his physical injuries, the man's gone through more traumas in the past few years than Asari Matriarchs experience in an entire lifetime. Before the final attack on earth, he was under unimaginable stress, showing symptoms of depression, burnout, anxiety, suicidal behaviour. Having a party on the Citadel helped somewhat but... He has a severe case of PTSD. One of the worst I've ever seen. I've never seen him break down before. Some time with his friends and loved ones would help him recover. I'll start administering antidepressants and get some psychotherapy arranged."

"How long a shore leave would you recommend?"

"Permanent."

"Permanent?"

"I know more than most when he's been through. He's not suited for front line duty anymore. He's seen so much, lost so much."

"We've all lost a lot, Doctor."

"I know, sir. You know his background with Akuze, being an orphan. In the military he found a calling, he's dedicated himself to saving lives. In countless missions he took a harder route to save lives in peril. This is even before the Reaper business began. Facing a foe that existed only to extinguish organic life in the galaxy only reinforced this mission in his mind. Losing Williams on Virmire, the 300,000 Batarians and the countless other tragedies he's witnessed... he blames himself for these deaths, Admiral. I know it's illogical and he of all people should know better, but that's who he is. There are a lot of lives on that man's conscience."

Hackett nodded. "What would you recommend?"

"Lots of psychotherapy. And Retirement. A quiet one. Full benefits and pension. He's earned it."

"Retirement? He's barely in his mid thirties. The whole galaxy wants to throw him a parade. We're even keeping our location a secret to keep the paparazzi away."

Dr. Chakwas stared at him.

"Alright, Doctor. You're right. He's earned it. I'll speak to the Alliance and the Council. They won't like it, but I've got his back in this. In everything."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Reunions**

* * *

"Normandy to Lethe. Requesting permission to dock."

"Lethe to Normandy. Permission granted. Proceed to port docking bay 16."

"Confirmed."

The Normandy gracefully flew alongside the Lethe, Hackett's dreadnought and flagship of the Alliance fleet. Joker chuckled as he cruised towards the docking port. He'd once thought such ships huge. Having seen his share of Collector and Reaper vessels, the Lethe was tiny in comparison. Almost the entire crew was behind him, loitering near the airlock, pacing expectantly: Donnelly, Daniels, Kaidan, Liara, Garrus, Traynor, Vega. Even Javik was eager for a reunion. In front of them all was Tali. Since the escape from earth she'd been through an emotional whirlwind, grieving Shepard's loss, and then refusing to accept it, offering hundreds of crazy rationalizations. Liara had been the same way, though she hid it better. Then three weeks ago, when their distress signal was received and the repairs started, they'd received word that Shepard was alive, but only barely, it enlivened all of them. The Airlock had barely opened when the crew rushed out. Even those who hadn't waited by the airlock were rushing out. Everyone was eager to leave the ship.

"Yeah, sure, don't have to wait for me." He sighed, he spun around in his chair and was about to push himself out when he looked upon the vacant seat next to him. Then he sat back down.

"I wish you were still here."

* * *

"Your friends have arrived. They'll be here any second. Page me if you need me."

"Thanks, Doc."

He wanted to meet them at the airlock but she refused. He was confined to quarters until further notice. He'd been moved to the XO's quarters which had been turned into a private hospital room. It was more Spartan than his quarters on the Normandy, there was no fish tank and no display case for his models. He'd finished shaving. His face was heavily scarred. The scars were new yet followed the same pattern his previously healed scars had. His bones still hadn't totally healed and he stood with the aid of a cane. His short black hair was marked with wisps of grey.

He heard her urgent footsteps before he saw her. He turned and there she was. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, running towards him. He opened his arms, dropping his cane, his legs wobbled and he was about to fall. Tali rushed into his arms and pushed him backwards, falling on the bed. She whimpered wordlessly as they embraced, not just holding him but squeezing him, her arms tightly wrapped around him, her legs pressing against his. He held her tightly, like the last night before the battle for Earth. He kissed her faceplate. There was so much he wanted to say, but now she was here in his arms he couldn't say anything. But he didn't need to. Slowly they faced another. Shepard wore a smile a mile wide. Tears in his eyes. He didn't need to see through her visor to know she was the same.

"I bet you do that to all the guys who save the galaxy." He said.

"Only the cute ones."

"Nice to see we got here before the fireworks went off." Garrus opined, the vanguard of his friends and crew. Garrus had what looked like the Turian equivalent of a black eye on his unmodified eye.

"Garrus!" Shepard started to get up but Garrus waved him away. The two stalwarts shook hands and gave another a firm but brief hug. Donnelly and Daniels gave him a group hug. Liara gave him a passionate, almost desperate hug. Various crew members whose names he recalled but history would scarcely remember, legend would not, yet without them his mission couldn't have succeeded. He greeted them all, and they all left until all that remained where his friends. Some had been there since the beginning at Eden Prime like Kaidan, others were up along the way. They all shared admiration, respect and affection for another. The bonds forged in the hottest fires would never fray. Yet there was one person missing.

"Where's Joker?"

"He... wanted to stay behind." Kaidan said awkwardly.

In the silence, a pin drop could've been heard.

"Come on, I think we need to go a bar." Garrus said, anxious to break the silence.

"Yeah, you owe me a drink for all those times I saved your ass." Shepard said.

"I never needed saving. I just had to give you a chance to build up your confidence."

"Keep telling yourself that. Let's go to the mess hall. It would be nice to walk around, get out of here."

"You can't leave?" Kaidan asked.

"No, I'm confined to quarters. Admiral's orders."

"You're disobeying an Admiral?" Kaidan was shocked.

"We'll they're making me one so I figure I get a free pass."

Shepard groaned as he slowly stood up. Tali fetched his cane and held his hand.

"Giving you a cane, huh? You going to start yelling at people to get off your lawn?"

"Only you, Garrus." They all laughed.

They made their way towards the mess hall. They walked for half a mile down various corridors.

"Where is everyone? A dreadnought like this should be buzzing with people." Shepard said.

"The Fleet's reassigned a lot of people to help with rebuilding. Most ships are on a skeleton staff." Kaidan said.

The officer's mess was at half capacity. There was a queue lining up with plastic trays. There was the low murmur of chatter when the doors opened. The murmur stopped altogether when Shepard entered. Faces turned towards him, food and drink were no longer being consumed. A Petty Officer sitting near to the door saw him and stood.

"Attention! Admiral on deck!" The entire mess hall snapped at attention and saluted.

Shepard fought back tears as he returned the salute. "As you were!"

The mess hall slowly returned to normal. Shepard walked to the end of the line. A female Commander was in front of him. She backed away and waved him forward.

"Go ahead." She said.

Shepard shook his head. "You were here first."

She looked at him, disbelieving what she was seeing and hearing. Shepard nodded to her one last time and she resumed her place in the queue. The crew sat at a table and for a time Shepard was able to leave behind the sorrow, revelling in friendship and comradeship. After their Spartan meal they moved to the officer's lounge where the laughs continued. After some time the friends departed for the night.

Tali and Shepard were alone at last. They jumped on the bed. Shepard removed her face mask and cowl. Her eyes sprinkled with tears. He gently caressed her face. "I love you." He said. "I love you, too." They kissed another passionately, desperately. Their clothes came off and tenderly they made love to another. Afterwards they held another, their arms and leg entwined, gently caressing another.

"I knew you would come back. Everyone thought I was mad, I was in denial. But I knew I was right. I knew..." She said, her voice still trembling with emotion.

"I never thought there would be an end." He confessed. "I thought we might fail and..."

"You would die."

"Yes..."

"That's why you evacuated me."

"I didn't think I would make it. I wanted you to survive. To live on Rannoch. Even if it would be for just a short time."

"I would've followed you to the end. I would've preferred it to being marooned without you."

"I wanted someone I love to live for once."

"But that was my choice. You took it away from me."

"I'm sorry, Tali. I've seen so many die."

"They're not your fault. " Tali's three fingered hand wiped the tears from Shepard's face. As much as he wanted to, needed to, he couldn't believe her. He embraced her, held her tightly, for she was a candle in an abyss of darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Departures**

* * *

It felt strange for his leg to be out of its cast. It made walking easier but he was still weak on his feet, he still needed a cane. Dr. Chakwas was insisting he remain onboard for another week but Shepard wanted, needed to go. He wanted to see Rannoch, to live there with Tali. Someplace quiet, someplace relatively unscathed by painful memories. He was looking forward to leaving the Lethe. The XO was upset about not having his quarters and they'd been receiving noise complaints from the night-watchman. Tali was eager to return to Rannoch. The past few days with his friends had helped him feel better, though he still had moments where he broke down. He did his best to avoid doing so in public but the longer he maintained his facade the harder it was to maintain. He'd spent most of his life, especially the past four years, hiding his pain from others, once it had been second nature, now it was a Herculean effort.

"Ready to go?" Tali asked him eagerly.

"Yeah." He looked himself in the mirror one last time. He looked at his scars, not believing they would ever fade away. He was wearing a formal white uniform, with his new admiral's stripes. His boots weren't as shiny as he would've liked but there was a distinct shortage of boot polish. Tali had observed him for hours preparing his uniform, ironing and creasing it, removing the lint. It was a fascinating ritual but one she understood given the importance of keeping an enviro-suit in perfect condition.

They left the quarters. Outside, lined up against the wall, waiting for him, were Kaidan, Vega, Javik, Garrus and Liara. Kaidan and Vega saluted him. Shepard saluted back.

"It's been an honour, Admiral." Vega said, the men shook hands.

"It's been a pleasure having you in my crew. What's next for you?"

"Just got new orders. Being reassigned to the South American region, help rebuild there for six months or so. After that, I'm guaranteed N7 training."

"How about you, Kaidain?"

"I'm your chaperone to Rannoch. After that, the Normandy's mine. Spectre duties, keeping an eye on the Batarians. "

"It's nice to see the Normandy will be in good hands. How did you get that command?"

"Being friends with the saviour of the galaxy has a few fringe benefits. I have pretty big shoes to fill."

"You'll be a great Spectre. The only shoes you need to worry about are your own."

"Thanks, Shepard." The two men hugged another and tapped the other on the back. He turned to face Javik. Kaidan then walked ahead.

"What's next for you?"

"I will assist Dr. T'soni with her research. Once that is complete I will return to be with my ancestors. My life is complete. Thank you for defeating the Reapers. There will never be a second Prothean Empire. But I am content knowing that something greater arose from our ashes."

Shepard nodded. The human and the Prothean shook hands firmly. Shepard then faced his Turian friend.

"Rannoch, eh? Warm, sure. Don't think it's very tropical, though."

"One out of two isn't bad."

"That's also your motto on the firing range but I'm sure that's just a coincidence. You biotics don't care much about accuracy."

Shepard chuckled. "What are you up to?"

"I'm a full General now. Well, it's official anyway. They want me to supervise reconstruction of the fleet. We lost a lot of ships and people. The new Primarch's eager for my advice and expertise."

"That's a big promotion."

"Yeah...but I'm ready for it. People in the high command say you've been holding me back. I think keeping you safe has given me enough experience to handle the job."

"You'll do a great job. Except if the bottles start rebelling."

They tapped each other on the shoulder. Lastly Shepard came to Liara. She reached out and held his arms.

"Shepard...I...wish to give you another gift, if you would receive it."

"Of course."

"Close your eyes." She put his hands on his shoulders. Her eyes blackened and he felt dizzy for a moment. When the dizziness passed he opened his eyes. He was in a black expanse, alone with Liara. Snowflakes shining like stars drifting down. It was just like their final moments before the rush towards the Conduit. She looked up to him with her scintillating eyes.

"Before you go, Shepard. I want you to know something. This is improper but..." Tears welled in her eyes. Liara embraced him, her arms squeezing like a vice around him.

"I love you." She said, quivering with emotion.

"I know." He said softly, his stoic demeanor threatening to crumble. She held him for some time, Shepard's body tensed. Almost reluctantly he touched her waist.

"I almost lost you a second time. I don't want there to be a third but in case there ever is... I want you to know."

"It's okay." He said softly. He wasn't sure what to say.

"If ever you want to know what happened in those final minutes, reach out to me. I can help you answer the questions in your mind, just as I helped you when you were touched by the beacons. I know the answer lies in you, hidden away in some dark corner of your mind."

"I will... when I'm ready." He said.

"Before we go, there's one last thing, Shepard. I know the burden you carry is a heavy one, but it's not one you have to carry. All these deaths are not on you... You have to let them go."

"I can't! There's so many! Letting go just leads to them being forgotten!"

"You must let go. Otherwise your grief will consume you, and Tali will lose you permanently."

Shepard backed away forcefully and suddenly he was back on the Lethe. Liara was in front of him and pulled her hands away from him, she looked at him with alarmed eyes. Shepard stepped back a few paces. They stared at another silently for a few moments, his eyes reddening and watering. He walked away at a brisk pace.

"Please, heed my words." She pleaded.

"What happened?" Tali asked with concern

"I told him that he couldn't hold onto grief. That he had to let go."

"Thank you." Tali looked down the hall where Shepard had gone.

"He needs you more than ever. Go to him. "

Tali ran off. She found Shepard down the winding corridors. He'd collapsed against a bulkhead, his head buried in his hands. She knelt beside him and touched his shoulder. Shepard turned towards her and she gathered him in her arms.

"Liara's right. I know what it's like to lose people under you. It's hard, but you have to move on. You taught me that, remember?"

"I'm not talking about one person or a dozen, but billions!" He said.

"We'll work through this, together. I'm here for you. We'll never lose another, not again. Come on, let's go home, to our home."

Shepard wiped away the tears and stood with the aid of his cane. He wiped the dust away and straightened his uniform. They were waiting for him in the docking area. The Lethe's entire crew stood against both walls leading to the Normandy. He guessed there were close to a hundred men in the honour party, wearing their formal white uniforms. They snapped to attention when the airlock door opened. The thud of their boots hitting the ground was as loud as artillery fire. At the end of the line stood Admiral Hackett, who raised his arm in a sharp salute. Shepard briskly marched towards the Admiral and saluted when they came face to face.

"We've got your back, Shepard. Anything you need is yours. Just ask. "

"Thank you, Admiral."

"It's been an honour." The Admiral shook his hands. Shepard's hands felt weak, surrounded by the Admiral's antiquated but resilient hands. The Admiral stepped aside. Shepard stepped into the airlock, boarding the Normandy for the last time. They saluted one last time before the airlock door closed. Joker was standing by his seat, staring out the cockpit. Traynor was waiting for them at the entrance as Shepard and Tali entered.

"Welcome back."

"It's good to be back." Shepard looked around; the Normandy was mostly as he remembered it. The repairs had caused some internal modifications. The ship was no longer lit red but a gentler blue hue; the interior had been freshly repainted. Some workstations weren't active. The exposed cabling and other detritus was gone. Traynor was at her usual station next to the galaxy map. Kaidan stood behind the map and waved to Shepard. Shepard walked up the steps that overlooked the galaxy map, one last time.

"What's our course?" Traynor asked.

"Second star to the right. And straight on until morning."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Arrival **

* * *

Shepard awoke in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. Images of chasing the boy fresh in his mind. The same dream he'd had since he fled Earth as it was destroyed by the Reapers. But there was something else about the dream, something different. The wisps of black smoke in the forest materialized as people, people he'd seen die. They looked at him, their bodies charred and mutilated beyond recognition but their faces were untouched by any injury or disfigurement. And they looked upon him with accusing eyes. And he had to turn away. Only every where he turned he saw accusing faces and he couldn't escape them.

Tali lay asleep beside him. He got up and took the elevator down. He walked through the Normandy, every section, every compartment. He didn't recognize some of the crew who mostly ignored him. He listened to the gentle hum of the engines. He remained in every room remembering the people who had once resided there, listening to ghosts of conversations long past. He smelled Grunt fresh from the tank. He tasted Serrice Ice Brandy and remembered toasts to absent friends. He heard Mordin singing Gilbert & Sullivan. He replayed the conversations with Jack and Miranda, where he discovered there was far more to them than their frosty exteriors. In the AI core he recalled his epiphany with Legion and EDI's birth. In the Port Observation Deck he recalled chatting with Kusumi over drinks. The War Room where he'd spent countless hours staring at maps, casualty and readiness reports. Finally he walked over to the cockpit. Joker was alone.

"Joker?"

"Yeah?"

"You got a minute?"

"I guess. There's no Reapers or Collector ships to dodge. " Joker answered awkwardly.

"I want to talk to you. About EDI."

Joker sighed and shifted in his seat.

"I'm sorry she's gone."

"Yeah, me too." Joker said with some bitterness.

"I don't know what happened up there. But I think her being gone is my fault, along with the Geth. I don't know if I had a choice, or if the choice I made was the best one I could make. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. The pain, the memories will never go away. But you can move on."

"Is this another 'do as I say not as I do' conversation?"

Shepard was stunned speechless. He looked down at his feet and shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry." Joker said, shaking his head. "Look, I'm happy you're alive and you saved the galaxy. But that doesn't change that EDI was someone special and something you did killed her. Right when, you know, it seemed something was going to happen between us. I know you didn't mean it to happen. But that doesn't change that she's gone and I'm just a guy with brittle bone disease."

Shepard wanted to say more, but could think of nothing. After standing over him in awkward silence he walked back towards the elevator. He found himself before the memorial wall, adorned with names he knew well. Admiral David Anderson, the only parent he'd ever known. His fingers traced the name Ashley Williams dozens of times, remembering the order which killed her while his feelings for her were burgeoning. "I was supposed to put your name here, but I never could." Tali had said. He replayed that phrase in his mind, running his fingers over the creases where his name was supposed to reside. He didn't hear the elevator open behind him. He felt a pair of three fingered hands reach around him. Shepard held her hands and Tali pressed her body against his, her head resting on his shoulder. "I knew you'd be here. " Her voice was drowsy but concerned. "Come back to bed." Shepard turned around and held her hands as they rode the elevator back to the Commander's quarters.

They awoke a few hours later. Shepard dressed in his formal uniform while Tali re-calibrated her environment suit. His few personal effects were in a container in the cargo bay, which was otherwise filled with supplies to aid the Quarians.

They were in the elevator together when Tali sneezed.

"You okay?" Shepard asked, worried.

"Yes I'm fine." She said. "Just a little...ACHOO!"

"I took more immune boosters and whatnot but I think I had a bit too much of...ACHOO! I think we've been joining our enviro suites too much lately. Maybe we need to slow down, to let my immune system recover." She said. "Don't worry; it's still totally worth it!"

"I'm glad to hear that. When we get on Rannoch, do you want us to keep it quiet?"

"No. ACHOO! You know I have such a hard time being quiet when you're around! There'd be no... ACHOO! There'd be no point. I'm... so happy to be with you. I feel like singing to the entire galaxy that you're my love!" She held his hand. Shepard squeezed her hand as the door opened. They walked onto the main deck for the last time. Crew members turned to look at them as they walked towards the cockpit, Traynor and Kaiden followed them. They stood a respectful distance behind Joker, watching as the Normandy approached Rannoch.

"One thing." Tali said. "There are some surprises waiting for us."

"Do they involve pole dancing?"

"Maybe." Tali said coyly.

"Thanks for sharing." Kaidan quipped.

The Normandy rounded Rannoch's primary moon. Shepard and Tali's new home came into view. They squeezed another's hand.

"Is that one of your surprises?" Shepard asked.

"Yes." Tali said. Shepard could tell she was smiling. Before Rannoch was seemingly the entire Quarian fleet waiting for the Normandy, ships on every axis. Four Quarian fighters came upon it and flew alongside the Normandy in a V formation. The Normandy and its escort flew the gauntlet created by the Quarian fleet. As the Normandy flew past, the ships pivoted so their bows pointed towards Rannoch.

"Rannoch Space Port this is the Normandy. Requesting clearance for landing."

"Permission granted. Proceed to Pier 14."

As the Normandy made its descent Shepard and Tali made their final goodbyes to the crew. The goodbyes were difficult and Shepard struggled to hold back his tears. He had a feeling he'd be doing that a lot today. After the Normandy landed. Shepard lightly touched Joker on his shoulders.

"Take care, Joker."

Joker said nothing and his body tensed. He shook his shoulders, as if Shepard were an insect that was bothering him. Shepard sighed. He stood in the airlock, looking back in the Normandy. The ship that had been his home, his sanctuary for several years. The repository of countless memories, the witness to his successes and failures.

Waiting for them on the surface was an honour guard. The Landing pad was filled with Quarian soldiers on parade. The unloading of their cargo was a secondary concern. The day was sunny, cloudless and dry. At the bottom of the landing ramp stood Admirals Shala'Raan vas Rannoch, Han'Gerrel vas Rannoch and Zaal'Koris vas Rannoch. Next to them hovered a broadcasting drone.

"Am I giving a speech?" He asked Tali as they walked down the ramp.

"Yes."

"Great, thanks for the advanced warning."

"I told you we'd have some surprises. Besides, your speeches are the best."

"I think I've used up my best material. Besides I... tend to prepare them before heading out."

"Really? Well, no wonder they were so good. Look, they don't have to know that. Just pretend you're about to fight a Reaper."

"Keelah se'lai." He said to the Admirals as they approached another.

"Keelah se'lai." They responded. Tali sneezed and there was an awkward silence. Han'Gerrel greeted her awkwardly and barely acknowledged his presence. Punching a Quarian Admirals in the stomach can leave a lasting impression. Shepard was certain he was looking upon Tali and him with scorn and disapproval. Zaal'Korris was the complete opposite, enthusiastically welcoming them. Shala'Raan was rapturous in welcoming them, with open arms.

Shepard removed a small datapad from his pocket and gave it to Shala'Raan.

"Admirals, on behalf of the Systems Alliance, I present my credentials as military attaché."

"We are humbled and honoured to accept your credentials." Shala'Raan said. "We extend the warmest hospitality to you and your people. Would you do us the honour of addressing our people?"

"Yes, I'd be honoured." He looked at the hovering drone. He froze for a second; it was like his mind was blank. And then words came out. He tried to infect them with emotion but he couldn't. He tried to think of better words but he couldn't.

"Friends, the recent war has shown that the powers of division are strong, the powers of unity are stronger. .. Thanks to this power, you've reclaimed your homeland, preserved by those you'd created... Their sacrifice must not, will not be forgotten..." He felt tears forming, he rubbed his eyes and he turned his face away from the drone. "I... I've had many ..struggles... I've lost a lot of friends and loved ones...like everyone else...but one thing that kept me persevering... was the belief that all of us can move on from the wounds of the past. That old ways... aren't always the best things. The belief in love, friendship... My friends and loved ones kept me going when all was darkest and together we... succeeded."

He backed away from the drone and it shut down. Tali came to his side and the other Quarian admirals approached.

"Thank you for your words." Shala'Raan said with some awkwardness. "If you'll proceed this way, we'll take you to your shuttle and your new home."

"We have a house, already?" Shepard asked as they walked between columns of saluting Quarian soldiers.

"Yes. Many houses were preserved and repaired by the Geth. Others are being built to accommodate our new population. It is... strange to be in them. They are so large and airy, and dizzying. There is so much empty space in them we don't know what do. What do humans do with the space in your dwellings?"

"Furniture, paintings, decorations. I've never had a home big enough to put decorations in. You grow up on the streets, you don't have a lot of personal belongings. Same thing when you join the navy."

"I see we have this in common. In time we'll learn to live with this. Luxury is a strange concept." She said.

"I couldn't agree more."

"We're reorganizing a civilian government." Zaal'Korris said. "It will take some time and effort but it's underway."

"That's good to hear." Shepard said.

"One of our Admirals has proposed a Sentient Rights Act that would make it a capital crime to commit a crime against a race of sentient beings."

"That's a good law, I'd support it." Shepard said.

"Admiral vas Normandy?" Han'Gerrel began.

"Yes?" Shepard and Tali both replied.

Han'Gerrel shook his head in Shepard's direction and turned to Tali.

"We expect you to report to your new assignment in two days. There is much work to be done. What the Geth have left behind has been helpful. However there is much we don't yet understand. As an expert on the Geth, you will lead a taskforce to answer the more difficult riddles the Geth have left us. You have some experience with agriculture, that's where your focus will be. Should you do well, I'd imagine you'll have a bright career ahead of you."

"Yes, had they... not died suddenly we would have no questions at all. Even in our short time cooperating together, we accomplished much. I dearly wish we could've lived, side-by-side." Zaal'Korris said.

"I'm sorry." Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard. The whole universe wants to know, what happened on the Citadel?"

"I don't know." He answered firmly. The admirals looked at him, sizing him up, then looked away, sensing this line of questioning was firmly off limits.

They arrived to the Quarian shuttle. It was small and nimble. Shepard looked behind him and saw his personal crate with his effects being carried into the cargo compartment. The pilot welcomed them aboard, an old friend.

"Veetor?" Tali exclaimed.

"Veetor vas Rannoch. Pleased to see you both alive." He said as the engines whirred into life.

"It's good to see you doing well." Shepard said, looking out the window. He saw many structures stretching into the sky, more cylindrical than rectangular, smooth ridges rather than hard corners, an abundance of glass and reflective surfaces. Further along their flight he saw farmland being worked over. He saw a handful of Quarians walking around without their environment suits.

"How are things?" Shepard asked.

"Difficult to say. On one hand, we've had incredible festivals and celebrations since arriving. We started growing food, we have water, power and sanitation in most habitable areas, the Geth did... a lot of good for us. On the other hand, a lot of people are dissecting the Geth like... insects. We lost a lot of ships and people in the Battles for Earth and Rannoch. Our Liveships are filled with orphans, many are being taken in. People are finding it difficult, raising more than one child."

Tali squeezed Shepard's hand. He looked at her. Though he could only see the glowing of her eyes, he knew what she was asking. He nodded and squeezed back.

"Thank you." She said warmly and hugged him. The shuttle flew towards the sun and towards their new home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Acclimatizing **

* * *

"So, how do you like our new home?" Tali asked, preparing some breakfast. It was a thick green paste, grounded using a mortar and pistil.

"I'm Admiral Shepard and this is my favourite house on Rannoch."

She playfully slapped his butt. Their home was two stories tall, luxurious by Quarian standards. The house was on a ridge, further down the hill from the back of the house was a flowing river. Their backyard had a vegetable garden which hadn't yet sprung any vegetables.

Their nearest neighbour was a mile to the east. Inside the home was still mostly barren. There was a room on the second floor that overlooked the river that housed all of Shepard's model star ships and other effects but otherwise the house was still very Spartan. The few furnishings were from Quarian ships, they'd picked them up in the market, where one's trash was another's treasure.

"How do you like Quarian cuisine?" Tali asked.

"It's... okay." Shepard said noncommittally. "It's better than military rations."

"Thanks for the high praise." She shot back sarcastically. He chuckled.

"How did you sleep last night?" Tali asked more seriously.

Shepard looked down. "I had the dream again. All the people I've seen killed, Ashley, Zaeed, Mordin, Miranda, even those I hadn't seen but had died along the way. They're standing in front of me, accusing me. I'm chained to a chair, all I can do is listen tell me how I got them killed and I don't deserve to be alive. Behind those people there's another person in the shadows I can't see who's directing the whole thing, like a judge. I couldn't get back to sleep. Even though the house was quiet I heard things. Like those people are in this house somehow, like ghosts."

Tali came over and sat on his lap and held him in her arms.

"These nightmares scare me." She said. "I've read about human dreams, they reflect your subconscious. You can't blame yourself for everything. You taught me that. I lost a lot of people of Haestrom but I got over it, thanks to you."

"I know." Shepard said. "Talking with Chambers has helped the past couple of weeks. But she says it's going to take time."

"I'm here for you, Allan, always."

"And knowing you're here makes everything better."

Tali removed her visor and they kissed passionately.

"Mmmm. You were complaining about how quiet it is. Maybe we should make some noise before we go to work." Tali suggested, Shepard couldn't refuse.

* * *

Shepard was late for work but he didn't mind, not today anyway. The human embassy wasn't much to behold. It resembled a small campground more than a diplomatic mission. It was a series of interlocking tents on the main boulevard of what had once been this continent's capital city. The ground was dusty and the dust often caused problems with various electronics. The old parliament building was hundreds of feet down the road and it loomed over every other building, an edifice of cylindrical towers, turrets and oval roofs. The embassy building was being constructed and all around them the sounds of construction buzzed, making conversation difficult. He had an "office" though it consisted of nothing more than a desk , two chairs and some shutters which had to be moved manually.

He was ill at ease as he sat in his chair with his computer terminal. Regardless of what adjustments he made, he never felt comfortable in it. The tent was hot; it never cooled down regardless of how many fans were operating. Normally they would've used Eezo Climate Units but those were in short supply, as were other non-essential items. The others in the embassy called it a dry heat and said it wasn't so bad, but he struggled. He stared dumbfounded around him, the other workers busily working away, talking away on their communicators, working on their computers.

He had no galaxy map to look at, no load outs to prepare, no missions to plan, no weapons or upgrades to purchase or research. His title was a formality. There was no military situation on Rannoch to advise of. There was the odd merc or pirate cruiser that showed up in the system but they tended to flee or be rapidly destroyed. Though he completed and submitted reports, he knew the reports were being filed away, unread. The others in the embassy had more purpose. They were constantly at work, helping coordinate various reconstruction projects, for one the ambassador was negotiating a trade pact. His co-workers were either fresh faced 20 year olds or diplomatic lifers. The younger ones seemed intimidated by him, the older ones were quiet with him though they stared less. He overheard them talking as he logged into his official email.

"Hey, Stanislovsky, did you hear the Conclave passed that Sentient Rights law? It's even got an extra-territoriality provision to it. "

"Da. It's mostly symbolic, makes the Quarians feel better about themselves after spending 300 years trying to exterminate the Geth. It's also supposed to help them curry favour with the Council so they can rejoin. "

"Damn you're cynical!"

"It comes with age. The law will never be used. After the Reapers I don't think anyone's going to attempt genocide for a while. And the Quarians would be the last to ever experiment with AIs again."

"I sure hope so."

"Have you read some of the provisions in that morality law Han'Gerrel is proposing?"

Stanislovsky laughed. "Governments legislating morality is like a cheap octogenarian prostitute preaching abstinence. The last things these Quarians need are more repression. They need a massive orgy to release their pent-up frustrations. Like the west in the 1960s."

"I thought that's what the Fleet and Flotilla marathons are about!"

Stanislovsky laughed heartily, he had a bear of a laugh. Even Shepard chuckled. There was a loud commotion, a lot of angry shouting. He looked up and saw people standing and rushing. Before he knew it someone had rushed into his "office" and it was face he knew rather well. He sighed seeing Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani standing before him with a broadcast drone hovering behind her as well as half a dozen angry staffers. Shepard waved them off with a weary wave of his hand.

"Admiral Shepard? Might I trouble you for an interview?"

Shepard sighed. "Might I trouble you to come into this place like a reasonable person?"

"I did but these people insisted I was a security risk."

"Can't imagine why. I heard you got fired from Westerlund News. Who are you working for now?"

"Doesn't matter. Can we get started?"

"Why won't you tell me who you're with?"

"I'm with a... private news organization."

"What are they called?"

She shrugged her shoulders and frowned at him.

"Does it matter?"

Shepard sighed. "Go on, let's get this over with."

"Admiral Shepard, the entire galaxy wants to know what happened on Earth to defeat the Reapers and destroy AIs like the Geth?"

"I don't know."

She paused before continuing, expecting him to elaborate. When she saw he wasn't going to go any further, she pressed on. "Despite some of your actions and words of the past, some critics say you have abandoned humanity. What do you say to this?"

Shepard felt a mixture of anger and bemusement. He'd always dreamed of hitting that disingenuous face of hers but had always gone the more charming and diplomatic route. He was wondering if that had been the wrong course of action. A slight smile appeared on his face.

"I think such charges are laughable and absurd. Since enlisting I've devoted my entire life to saving lives and serving humanity. By uniting against the Reapers we were able to stave off xenocide on a galactic scale. Saving not just humanity, but every sentient race."

"But if you have done so much to save humanity, why aren't you back on Earth, helping to rebuild humanity?"

"There are many ways one can serve. I'm here serving humanity by reminding other species that just as we defeated the Reapers by uniting, only by that same method can we rebuild our societies."

"Are there other reasons you're not on Earth?"

"There are, but those reasons are personal and I don't comment on personal matters."

"Changing the subject, what are your views on the Quarian Conclave's Sentient Rights Act."

Shepard had been briefed about diplomatic protocol so he knew the less he said the better.

"As an Alliance official, it wouldn't be right for me to comment on Quarian legislation."

"But given recent events, do you think such legislation is important, even if it's only on a symbolic level?"

"Sure, sometimes symbols can have tangible meaning and power."

"Admiral Shepard, do you care to comment on the Batarian Hegemony still insisting you be brought to trial for what they call the Aratoht Butchery and the death of over 300,000 Batarians?"

Shepard blinked and breathed deeply. "I have... no comment beyond I deeply regret all those that died. Had there been a way to forestall the Reapers without killing so many I would've done it. I mourn every life that's been lost and there's not a moment that goes by that I don't question myself but..."

He rubbed his eyes, hoping his reddening eyes wouldn't show under the glare of the lights.

"Changing tack once again, Admiral Shepard, some critics also state you're a race traitor by consorting with an alien female. Shouldn't you cohabitate with human females to help repopulate humanity?"

Shepard slammed his fist on his desk. She jumped in her shoes. He stared at the reporter with incandescent rage. His jaw clenched shut. He'd heard such talk before. Growing up on the streets it was common to encounter ethnic gangs. They weren't fond of different ethnicities mixing and often attacked "mixed race" couples. And this term was being thrown at him.

"That's xenophobic bullshit! Have you asked that question of yourself, _miss_ al-Jilani? Maybe you could better serve humanity by shutting your mouth and spreading your legs. I've been serving humanity since you were nothing but a petty tabloid reporter, asking disingenuous questions of brain dead celebrities. Maybe it's time you do something to benefit humanity for a change. Get out of my office you vacuous bitch or I'll show you the business end of my boot!"

The reporter was quickly hushed out of Shepard's Office, the staff yelling and cursing at her on the way out. Stanislovsky came in, he was in his early 50s though he looked closer to his mid 60s He had a hard face, lined with many scars, deep set eyes, and a smile dotted with missing teeth. His voice was deep but ragged. They hadn't talked much since Shepard had started working here.

"You handled that fairly well, except for the end. She was trying to push your buttons to get a reaction out of you. I don't think you need to worry too much. You're still the big hero, no one will ever forget that. This will come off as a hatchet job. Maybe some kind of personal vendetta."

"Thanks, Stanislovsky."

"Das Vidanya. I wonder who's she working for now."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Pleadings**

* * *

"Oh that slimy little bosh'tet! I almost punched him! I should've!" Tali seethed, pacing heavily on the floor. Her steps were so heavy he thought she was going to dent the floor.

"What's wrong?" Shepard asked, having just arrived home. He reached for her arm but she continued pacing around. He'd rarely seen her this upset. He chased after her while she paced but she continued to walk around, unaware of his attempts to catch up with her.

"It's Han'Gerrel! It's this stupid morality law he's pushing! Keelah!"

"What is it?"

"He asked to see me again today. First he started with the usual, how you humans say it? Bullshit about my work performance. Even though there's so much information we're learning everyday! Thanks to my team we'll have a proper harvest in the next few months. An actual harvest! On Rannoch! Then he said he thought our relationship was... unnatural and immoral! Ugh! He said if he had his way I'd be charged under it!"

"Look, he's just saying that. He can't press charges on his own."

"I know it's just... some Quarians don't approve of us being together. You know how we value community. We don't think of individuality the same way most humans do. This is a strange time for us. We've dreamed about Rannoch for so long, and now that we're here, we don't know what to do. People are claiming to be pure Quarians, and then people say they're purer than other Quarians, this is who that stupid law appeals to." She came to him and they held another.

"He's had it out for us for a while now. We'll make it through this. People will get used to us being together. If the Reapers can't stop us we can handle a vindictive Admiral."

"Allan, we've been through so much. If death can't keep us apart then nothing can. I'm not scared of him, it just makes me mad. Everyone's taken the name vas Rannoch, I'm proud and happy to be vas Normandy."

After they made love they lay in bed together, watching the bright orange sunset. They cuddled and tenderly caressed another.

"Allan, have you thought more about adopting?"

"Yeah. I want to do it but I don't think I'm ready. I never knew my parents. I don't know what it takes to be one."

"But I think you do. You're an amazing person, just being yourself you'd be a great dad. You know the way you handle crew of a ship? That's just like being a parent. You did have a great dad in Anderson."

"He was. I miss him. But I still haven't gotten myself sorted out yet."

"We know that will take a long time. Chambers said you can't use this as an excuse to try things. Maybe adopting can help you get better. I know you're afraid, I'm afraid too, but you said yourself that you can't let fear dictate how we live."

"Maybe you're right." He said.

She turned excitedly to face him.

"So... you're okay with it?"

He nodded. She hugged and kissed him passionately.

* * *

"Admiral there's a reporter here to see you. Hopefully you won't threaten her like all the other ones." Ragesh Singh, one of the younger staffers at the embassy, informed him.

"Hey, that was only one reporter I did that too!"

Ragesh laughed. Shepard looked up from his desk and fixed him with a sardonic glare.

"Laugh it up, Ragesh. Laugh it up. Let her in."

"Hi, Shepard. It's good to see you again." Diana Allers walked into his "office" wearing as little clothing as usual. Shepard did his best to avert his gaze but some temptations are more difficult to resist than others.

"Likewise. I see your wardrobe hasn't changed much."

"You'd be surprised what people reveal when they're distracted. I'm very good at distracting people."

"I don't doubt it."

Diana sat down.

"Before we start, I just want to say it was an honour being on the Normandy with you. I miss a lot of people I lived with. I saw so much and I learned so much and grew up so much. Thank you for taking me with you. And thank you for... everything I guess."

"I'm glad you were with us. We needed something to make feel better, to give them hope, and you helped."

"No, that wasn't my doing. It was all yours."

"Thanks, but I couldn't have done it on my own."

"You're always so modest. Don't you have an ego?" She teased.

Shepard shrugged. "How are things on Earth?"

"Well, it's been four months now since it all ended. Food production is just starting but it will be two years before most people start eating fresh food again. Water purification plants are running in most places. Most people are still living in refugee camps. We still haven't figured out the death toll but it's over one billion. The French haven't made up their minds whether to rebuild the Eiffel Tower or not, same with most famous landmarks, the Taj Mahal, Big Ben, the Alexandria Library, others. Some people say rebuilding them is a show of defiance; others say it's time to move on... The other Alliance planets are having a rough time too. They say the Citadel's going to take 15 years to rebuild. That's about it. Wanna get started?"

"Sure."

"Admiral Shepard, tell us about yourself? What made you join the navy?"

"Well I was an orphan. I grew up on the streets of Vancouver. I was in a gang that did some very unpleasant things. I stuck with it for a time because I was young and didn't know better. It gave me something to do, an identity. But even then I thought there was something out there for me, something better than hustling on the streets. One day I was outside and it was raining, like it always does in Vancouver, and I took shelter in a museum. The museum had a special exhibit on that was free admission. The exhibit was on space exploration. It had everything from Sputnik to Mass Effect drives. What really grabbed me was the section on the old Hubble telescopes. The pictures it took astounded me, filled me with wonder, awe. I'd never felt anything like that before. It was something I had to experience for myself. I signed up the next day."

"So you joined and rather quickly moved up the ranks. You earned a few citations and awards and was then selected for N7 training."

"I'd found my calling. It's a life like no other. It pushes you beyond your limits, it's hard but if you stick with it the rewards are worth it. Without the Navy I'd have been a thug and ended up in prison."

"After a few years in the Navy you were part of the team sent to the colony at Akuze."

"Yes. It's still something I have painful memories of."

"You often think of those who died there?"

"Yes." His voice had a slight tremor. Why did she have to bring this up?

"We can... talk about something else if you like?" Diana interjected, genuine concern in her voice and face.

"No. It's better for me to talk about it. It'll help me get better. "

They went on for some time. Though Shepard did show emotion, he didn't break down like he would've weeks ago. He didn't shy away from the tougher questions. The interview went one for the better part of an hour.

"Do you have any regrets?" Allers asked. Shepard sensed this interview was wrapping up.

"Sure. Who doesn't? I regret the lives I've lost. The Batarians, all the people on Akuze, the people under my command. Whenever you lose someone, you always question yourself. I've analyzed my actions hundreds of times, questioned myself. But each time, I've never been able to pinpoint an instance where I should've done differently. I've made bad decisions, but I chose those bad decisions because it was the choice between a bad decision and a terrible one. I may have accepted what's happened, but I will never forget and I will never stop mourning them."

"Thank you, Admiral Shepard. Just a few final questions to wrap up. You've recently signed off to have vids filmed of your exploits. Who would you like to see play you?"

"Well, I'm a big fan of Slab Bulkhead's movies. Especially the Space Mutiny trilogy. They were a favorite on the Normandy. Big morale boosters."

"What do you miss the most?"

"Duncan Hills Coffee. Guatemalan blend."

"Lastly, when will you return to Earth?"

"I don't know. But I will someday. I look forward to returning to Earth. I miss a lot of things. I'll be back."

"This is Diana Allers of Alliance News Network reporting from Rannoch."

She waited a few seconds before shutting off the recording drone.

"Wow! Thanks for that, Shepard. This is the best interview I've ever done."

She then came over to him and hugged him.

"I'm so happy to see you're doing better. Take care of yourself, okay. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know." She kissed his cheek and walked out of his office. Stanislovsky walked into his "office", staring openly at Diana's swaying behind. Diana didn't seem to mind and winked at him. Stanislovsky smiled, only turning away when she was out of his sight.

"That is one finely constructed devochka. Nice, child bearing hips. You had that fine specimen on your ship for how many weeks? And you didn't get her into bed? For shame, Admiral. For shame!"

Shepard laughed.

"I had other things on my mind."

Stanislovsky shook his head. "Nyet. Sure, saving the galaxy is important, but even some things take priority over that!"

Both men laughed.

"Come, my friend. I have something to show you."

Shepard followed Stanislovsky. The Alliance Embassy was still being built and they were still in tents. Some improvements had been made. The tents had been sealed airtight and given small air conditioning units. But his chair still hadn't been fixed. He'd swapped chairs with everyone in the embassy, and none had ever made him comfortable.

"What have you got?" Shepard asked, looking at the box sitting on Stanislovsky's desk. It was marked with various labels like "fragile" and "this side up."

"Treasure." Stanislovsky said, gingerly opening the box. He reached in and pulled out a bottle of Lamphroig aged 50 years.

"Wow!" Shepard exclaimed. He wasn't a man easily impressed. "Where did you get this?"

"It cost me a month's salary and a dozen favors. But it's worth it."

"I thought you Russians liked Vodka?"

"Da, although I'm Belarusian, my grandmother was Scottish. I prefer Scotch. If I'm going to get drunk, I prefer to do it with something flavorful. Care to join me?" He reached into his desk and pulled out a couple of glasses. He poured them each a drink and they toasted.

"Vashee zda-ró-vye!"

"Cheers!"

They drank their Scotches. Shepard sighed, it had been a while since he'd had something nice to drink. They say in Shepard's office and chatted, the conversation flowed easily as did the fine Scotch.

"Admiral, will you forgive an inquisitive question?"

"Maybe."

"Do Quarians drink?"

"Yeah, it just needs to be filtered several times and then they use an emergency induction port to ingest it."

"A what?"

"A straw."

Stanislovsky laughed heartily.

He was slightly tipsy as he made his way home on the shuttle bus. He was the only human on the shuttle bus. Heads always turned whenever he went somewhere. The walls seemed tighter, the ceilings lower, the rooms hotter, the lights brighter. He knew what Javik felt. Walking anywhere made him a beacon of attention. Some stared openly, some stared covertly, some whispered to themselves, most thanked him politely, a few would tentatively ask for autographs. At least they weren't as annoying as Conrad Verner.

Some of the Quarians he saw weren't wearing their full environment suits. Most were experimenting with not wearing it for a few hours per month, to gradually acclimatize themselves. A small group of Quarians had retreated to the mountains to live "as nature intended" without their suits. They'd all died. He vaguely listened to the chatter of his fellow commuters. They spoke of the Sentient Rights bill being passed by the Conclave as well as the Quarian Moral Hygiene Act, the morality law spearheaded by Han'Gerrel. He didn't like the last bit; Stanislovsky was right about government legislating morality. He was quietly worried if Han'Gerrel was going to use this law to further his vendetta.

He was running in a forest. Yet no matter how much force he put into his legs he moved slowly. He was trying to catch up to the boy, to save him. He ran forever, finally catching up to the boy. As he reached him the boy turned to face him. "You can't save me." He said. He was rapidly consumed by flames. He looked around him and wisps of black smoke materialized. The wisps formed into mutated stumps, vaguely humanoid shapes. The tops of these wisps formed into round faces. Faces he recognized. Ashley Williams. "It's your fault I'm dead!" She said, seething with rage. Next to her was Miranda Lawson. "You're my murderer!" Then there was Zaeed, Mordin, a Batarian, the boy. Everywhere he turned they surrounded him and he was forced to listen to their accusations. He could offer no defence. Beyond them, he saw something in the background. A strange figure bathed in shadows with three glowing eyes, one eye was red and the other two were blue. He knew that this three eyed figure was directing them. "Guilty." He heard it say. He awoke in a cold sweat. The moon bathing the bedroom in its gentle, soothing light.

"You okay?" Tali mumbled, mostly asleep.

"Yeah. It's just a dream."

He got out of bed. Tali didn't stir further, continuing to sleep. _It's just a dream._ He thought to himself and scoffed aloud. Chatting with Chambers had helped them, though she too was still haunted by the memories of being trapped on the Collector ship. Maybe these nightmares would be with him forever and he'd have to learn with cope. Tali had sat in on some of their chats, and that was really helpful, it reinforced they were in this together. He looked at Tali's sleeping body. What he would give for just two consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep. She'd done so much for him; putting herself in mortal danger just for the chance to feel their lips touching. Her dedication was without equal, her faith limitless. It filled him with such humility and awe, to know that he meant so much to just one person. He owed it to her to sort himself out. More to it than that, as Chambers had been hinting at, he owed it to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Pre-Trial**

* * *

He was getting used to the longer days though he still had a hard time dealing with Quarian food. He was starting to prefer rations. He'd thought about importing herbs and spices but the prices were exorbitant. He couldn't justify buying luxurious foods when people were still starving on Earth and on other Alliance planets. He was looking forward to receiving a special guest tonight for dinner: Liara T'soni. She had contacted him this very morning to say she was dropping by. Liara's book "Journeys with a Prothean." Had been published a week before and was getting rave reviews. He wondered how she was able to balance her academic work with her duties as Shadow Broker. He emailed Tali to let her know. They didn't often contact another during work hours at Tali's insistence on maintaining professional behavior. So he thought nothing of the fact that she didn't respond to him.

Tali was upset when he arrived home, pacing through the house. She rushed into his arms when he arrived. She silently sobbed and he held her softly.

"What is it?"

"It's Han'Gerrel! That little Bosh'tet demoted me today!"

"What?"

"He has me supervising Biological Waste Reconstruction! This time, I did hit him. It felt good, for a second or two... He had security take me away. Then I... I came home."

"Why didn't you call me? I would've come home right away."

"I...I thought I was okay...I didn't want you to worry."

"Tali," He said softly grabbing both of her hands, "I'm here for you, always. Just as you're here for me. It's only fair to give me a chance to return the favour once in a while."

She nodded lightly.

"Look, we'll get through this. Have you talked to your aunt?"

"Yes. She says she can't do anything because she doesn't want to be in a position of conflict of interest. She and Han'Gerrel have been butting heads lately, mostly about what to do about Geth technology. It's odd, everyone's acting like they're a purer Quarian than someone else. They're competing with another to make a stupid point! It's such an insult! I don't know what to do, Allan."

"We'll figure something out. We'll fight him."

"I want to but we can't have this infighting. We have to be unified to help our people."

"Standing up for yourself isn't selfish and it isn't going to hurt your people. Look at what's happening, this isn't what unified peoples do."

"You're right. I'm just not sure how."

"Maybe Liara can give us some ideas."

"I totally forgot! She'll be here soon! Ah! The house isn't ready!"

He held her hands. "I'll take care of it. Just have a seat."

Liara arrived shortly later, just as Shepard had finished preparations. The dinner table was set, gentle ambient music playing through the sound system. Shepard was preparing Spoo, an ancient Quarian delicacy that predated their exodus. He found the recipe on the extranet and it seemed easy enough to make and it was quite popular. Ragesh had told him he'd made a Spoo curry. He'd try that next.

They all greeted another warmly and talked pleasantly while the Spoo was simmering. Despite the light conversation there was a slight tension, all of them were distracted. They ate and the Spoo was mostly a success. Even though it was allegedly vegetarian in nature, Spoo reminded himof Swedish Meatballs. But his first attempt in Quarian cooking wasn't one of his most successful endeavors. Tali felt it wasn't spicy enough. Liara was tentative in her praise. Even Shepard felt there was something off. After dinner they went outside and walked.

"Where's Javik?" Shepard asked.

"He's gone back to his homeworld. After contributing so much to our knowledge of the Protheans, and seeing the Reapers vanished, he feels it's time to move on and lay himself to rest. Shepard, Tali, there's a reason I came so unexpectedly. I've been working just as much as restoring the Shadow Broker network as I have Prothean research with Javik. It's been difficult; few of my old contacts survived the Reapers. But I have new ones. Including here on Rannoch. I have some disturbing news for you. I understand that today Tali was demoted."

"Yes." Tali said icily.

"Unfortunately this is only the beginning. Admiral Han'Gerrel has been manoeuvring for some time against you both out of some personal vendetta. His ultimate goal is to use two recent laws he's sponsored against you. I also know that he has been in contact from someone within the Batarian Hegemony. I wish I had more information to share."

Shepard and Tali were stunned.

"That... Bosh'tet!"

"Maybe he needs another punch in the stomach."

"I'd advise against that." Liara said.

"When does he plan to do this?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know. But I'd suspect very soon. There's something else. I suspect Han'Gerrel isn't the originator of this plan."

"The Batarians are behind this?"

"It's highly possible but I have my doubts. They still want you to be held responsible for what happened with the Alpha Relay. The Alliance would never allow you to be extradited. The Batarians don't have the military or diplomatic strength to attempt anything. This may be the only way for them to get at you."

"Going to court doesn't sound like the Batarian thing to do."

"Which is why I believe another party is the true originator of this."

"Any idea who this might be?"

"None of my sources are able to ascertain this."

"We have to get to Han'Gerrel first." Shepard said.

"It's better than waiting for him." Tali agreed.

"I think you should reconsider this. If you go after him you will be seen as the aggressor. The outcome of this trial would depend in part on perception. If you're seen to be victims, that will aid your cases greatly. The Alliance will not hesitate to pressure the Quarian government to have the charges thrown out. Also, if this trial goes forward, even only partially, it may give us enough time to discover who is behind this. "

"That makes sense. But I don't like the idea of waiting for him to arrest us!" Tali exclaimed.

"Me too. But it's the smart thing to do. Guess I should get a lawyer." Shepard smirked.

"Are there any lawyers left?" Tali asked.

"Why didn't the Reapers kill any lawyers during the Reaper War?" Shepard queried. Neither Tali or L'iara had an answer.

"Professional courtesy."

"I was not aware that the Reapers avoided targeting lawyers...Oh I see, that was a joke." L'iara said, embarrassed.

Shepard chuckled briefly. "I should let Hackett know."

"I'd also advise Tali to do the same. You still have powerful friends and allies. I will remain in orbit over Rannoch to help you as best I can."

Silently they walked back to the house. The breeze seemed to have stopped. The night seemed colder and the stars dimmer. All were lost in their own thoughts, yet there was less insecurity and anxiety. The bonds of love and companionship were as strong as ever.

Back in their home Liara gave them each a portable transmitter so she could keep track of them. It was a small circular device the circumference of a few millimetres and as thin as a sheet of paper. It was translucent. Shepard placed it on his skin and Tali on her environment suit. It melded seamlessly and it couldn't be picked up visually.

"These trackers emit on a low band hidden frequency. It should be undetectable. My ship will be able to track you. I don't want to lose you again." Liara explained, looking at them both, though with some intensity at Shepard.

"Thanks for these. They'll come in handy." Shepard said.

"I will go back to my ship now. I have made a few contingency plans should things not go according to plan."

"Good thing that never happens." Shepard said.

"Actually it does... very funny, Shepard."

They gave each other light hugs and Liara left. Tali called Shala'Raan and Shepard contacted Admiral Hackett.

"Are you sure this is how you want to go about this?" Hackett asked him over the com link.

"Yes, otherwise we might never learn who's the driving force behind this."

"Setting a trap is one thing. Making yourself the bait is another."

"We have a couple of aces in the hole. I think Han'Gerrel's making a mistake by acting so soon."

"I trust your judgement. Thanks for keeping me informed. Hackett out."

Tali appeared beside him, squeezing Shepard's hand. "I can't wait for a repeat of your performance at my trial. You should've seen yourself! I want to see you get mad again, especially when you're defending my honour. It's really sexy!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Trial**

* * *

They came sooner than anyone had expected, and not in a manner anyone had expected. Later that night, just as they were settling into bed, the doors of their home were blown open. Windows were blown open and canisters of knockout gas and smoke grenades exploded. Shepard and Tali stumbled out of their bed, they weren't expecting this. The smoke blinded them and the knockout gas quickly had its desired effect. They were dragged away by figures wearing heavy armour and placed onto a nearby shuttle. The shuttle zoomed away at high speed, docking with a larger Batarian cruiser. Unseen, two small frigates began following it.

Shepard opened his eyes. He blinked several times before the haziness left. There was a single, bright light shining upon him. The room was small, no more than a dozen feet from wall to wall. The room was hot and humid, hotter than he'd ever remembered being. His mouth was dry. His nose ached, like it was broken. He looked down at his body and saw it was lined with bruises and contusions. He was shackled to a chair with old fashioned steel manacles. A door in front of him opened. In came a Batarian wearing a SIU formal dress uniform. He wore a holstered pistol. The door closed behind him with a loud thud. He looked down upon Shepard, malice emanating from all four of his ebon eyes. His shoulders were tense, he stood ramrod straight and he breathed heavily.

"Nice to see you finally awake. Your Quarian friend is still sedated. We had to give you a lot of sedatives to keep you under. " The Batarian said.

"Beating up an unconscious man and a Quarian woman proves just how strong you are." Shepard said.

The Batarian removed his pistol, holding the barrel and swung it at Shepard. The blow hit him hard on the right side of his head. Shepard cursed. His head rang with the impact and he felt chips of loosened teeth bouncing around in his mouth.

"You hit like a drunken Hanar." Shepard quipped.

"False bravado. I'm used to such behavior from your pathetic race! One might think fighting... in conjunction with others of your species would inoculate me from it but it doesn't." The Batarian spat.

"On who's authority did you drag me here?"

"The authority granted to us under the Quarian Sentient Rights Act. The provisions under the Crimes Against Sentience allow the Batarian Hegemony to arrest and try you. Your precious diplomatic immunity doesn't apply to acts of genocide, and perhaps xenocide."

"Where are we?"

That Batarian laughed. "You've seen too many vids if you think I'm going to tell you that."

"It was worth a shot." Shepard chuckled.

The Batarian cocked his head to the right. "You should be more respectful of the setting. This trial will be broadcast to the entirety of the Batarian Hegemony and thereafter the galaxy. You and your... concubine are on trial for your lives."

"If you think your little kangaroo court and bargain basement torture is going to scare me you've got something else coming. And leave Tali out of this!"

"She is an accomplice in your crimes. More importantly, her presence, her... health will be used to motivate your performance at your trial. "

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked sharply, trying to hide the fear in his voice.

"If you provide proper answers to my questions, if you submit willingly to our questioning she will be relatively unarmed. If you refuse to cooperate, well, I believe routing this ship's refuse disposal system to her cell is easy to arrange."

_What kind of ship? _Shepard asked himself. He knew better than to ask, best not to alert him to his mistake. Were the tracking devices working? How long had they been captive? Where was Liara? How safe was Tali?

"Who are you anyway?"

"Don't get in the habit of asking questions. I'd consider that being uncooperative. But I will answer this. Even a monster deserves to know its prosecutor. I am Jathal Karal." The Batarian said. "I am the only survivor of the Aratoth Butchery. I was out of the system on a mission when you committed genocide against us!"

"It wasn't genocide!" Shepard shouted. "I didn't want to blow up the system. But the Reapers were coming and that was the only way to stop them!"

"I'm tired of your self-serving justifications. I'm tired of your government's obstruction and obfuscation. Soon, the Batarian Hegemony will have justice. And I will bring that to them! And it begins now!" He yelled at Shepard.

He looked upon Shepard with hungry malevolence for a moment and then activated his Omni-Tool. "Sherynia, enter."

The door opened again, an Asari entered. She bore the subtle lines of Asari Matriarchy. Her face was lined with facial tattoos, red, angular lines facing forward, as if her face was a Ballista, launching bolts with deadly effect. She wore a dress that was crimson. Her dress was of a modest design; as if it were designed to deflect attention away from her physique.

"And who's your Asari friend?"

"I am Sherynia. I am here on behalf of those billions of lost Asari souls who died when you intentionally failed at Thessia, and focused selfishly on saving your own people!"

"That's not true!" Shepard thundered. He shook in his chair with anger. "You have no idea how devastated I was after Thessia!"

"Who put you up to this?" Shepard asked.

"No one! We are Batarians! We are at no one's bidding!" The Batarian shouted.

"Since when does the great Batarian Hegemony resort to trickery that would shame an ambulance chaser?"

"Killing you would be counterproductive and make you a martyr. Your crimes must be brought to bear so the entire galaxy can see you for what you are. You are no worse than the Reapers, the only difference lies in your justifications!"

"I fought to save lives! To save life itself!" Shepard shouted.

"But how many did you destroy? Do you think that tips the scales in your favor?" The Batarian asked.

"Too many, and no, it doesn't." Shepard said solemnly.

The answer stunned his prosecutors into silence. They looked away from him uncomfortably.

"This is getting...dull. Sherynia, meld with Shepard's mind. Reveal to us the depth of his crimes in the Aratoth Butchery. Probe for what happened on the Citadel. Probe for his actions wiping out the Geth and the Reapers, so we may add further charges on the docket."

"It will be an honour." The Matriarch said, walking towards Shepard. Karal left the room. The door shut with a loud bang and it seemed the room trembled.

"You don't have to do this." Shepard said, looking at the Asari. "He's using the loss of your people to manipulate you."

"This will go much easier if you don't resist." She said firmly, kneeling in front of him, not looking at him but over his shoulder.

"I fended off an Ardat-Yakshi. Don't think I'll make this easy on you." Shepard said, anger and fear in his voice. He struggled against his shackles though he remained unable to break free of them.

"Have it your way." She said, grabbing hold of his arms. "Embrace eternity."

"I'd rather not." Shepard said as the Asari's eyes blackened over.

Shepard screamed. It felt like a raging fire was lit in his mind, currents of searing flame coursing through his brainwaves like rivers of flame. He pushed back, trying to purge his mind of any thoughts and memories but he was unable to resist the Matriarch's attack. A chaotic cacophony of images, sounds, smells and textures blurred past his mind. Thousands of these elements rushing by every nanosecond, he was unable to comprehend what he was experiencing. It was like his first encounter with the Prothean beacon at Eden Prime, only more unfathomable and much more painful. He was aware of his entire mind being in the midst of an inferno, he tried to push away but Sherynia wouldn't release her hold. A loud shriek pierced his ears, like the cry of Banshee multiplied a thousand times.

His vision went black and his ears rang, blocking out every sound. He was no longer in his own mind, but he couldn't ascertain where he was anymore. Slowly, he became aware of the light and the heat. Slowly he regained his senses, there was a pool of vomit at his feet and his mouth was filled with the taste of his own blood. His head ached incredibly. The Asari was facing him, leaning back against the wall. She was breathing heavily, her mouth agape, saliva dripping from the corners of her mouth, her eyes were facing in his direction but they were glazed, as if she wasn't seeing him.

"By the Goddess...so...much pain!" Her voice was a cracked whisper. She saw him finally, looking upon him with bewilderment. She closed her mouth and wiped her mouth. She opened her mouth as if she were about to speak but no words came out. She looked away from him suddenly and hurriedly left the room. The door slammed shut and the light went out, Shepard was alone in the darkness.

Shepard saw them. No longer wisps of smoke or disfigured bodies but intact and unmarked. Their appearance was concrete and tangible, not ephemeral or unreal. He could almost smell them. Instead of surrounding him they were standing before him in single file. One by one they stepped forward and accused him. Zaeed was the first to voice accusations.

"You cost me twenty years of my life!"

Shepard shouted loudly. The words that followed surprised him. Not the content of the words. But the inflection behind them was different. There was conviction where before there was platitude. Strength where before had been weakness. Wisdom where before had been folly.

"You brought it on yourself. Putting a selfish grudge against the lives of innocent people! You couldn't let go. I don't mourn you, Zaeed!"

"Screw you, Shepard!" Zaeed said with weak defiance and vanished into darkness. Miranda Lawson appeared next.

"Shepard. It's your fault I'm dead. You let my own father murder me! I should've planted that control chip in you!"

"Miranda, I'm sorry. There was nothing I could've done!"

Miranda looked at him with her usual condescension and mistrust, her voice was colder than ice. As he spoke, her face softened ever so subtly, her posture relaxed. The smug superiority in her voice was gone, replaced with the real Miranda, the one who hid behind that facade.

"You're right, Shepard. At least Oriana's safe. Promise me you'll watch over her?"

"I promise."

"Farewell." Miranda said, dissipating into nothingness. Shepard felt lighter; one less burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Mordin Solus appeared next.

"Genophage cured. Had to be me. Someone else would've gotten it wrong. Could've been achieved without martyrdom. You failed me Shepard!"

"Mordin! The Shroud collapsed on its own! You knew it was coming down. I couldn't have prevented it!"

"Analysis correct. Feelings of guilt assuaged. Genophage cured. Redemption and reconciliation of Salarian, Turian and Krogan peoples achieved. Other considerations secondary. Goodbye, Admiral."

Mordin vanished. Ashley Williams appeared next, her face both angry and sad.

"You murdered me on Virmire! You knew my feelings for you! And you killed me rather than deal with it!"

"I had to make a choice. You said it yourself, it was the right one. It wasn't because of what we felt, it wasn't because I was afraid. Like a lot of people, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Ashley's ghostly apparition nodded. Shepard spoke and just as the words came to him, they came to Ashley simultaneously. "Death closes all: but something ere the end/Some work of noble note, may yet be done/Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods."

"Farewell, skipper."

"Goodbye, Ashley."

Ashley's body disintegrated into nothingness. Before Shepard stood a single ghost, one who represented many. The boy from Vancouver whom he'd seen in his dreams more times than he could count.

"Everyone's dying... You can't help me."

"There was a lot of people I couldn't help. You were just one of many. I had to let some people go to save everyone else. Not all sacrifices are in vain. We defeated the Reapers without compromising who we are."

"Then I can rest in peace?"

"Yes, you can."

The boy faded from view with a grateful smile. The boy was replaced by David Anderson. Shepard instinctively tried to snap to attention, but his restraints prevented him from doing so. Anderson looked upon him with admiration, respect, love.

"You did good, son. I'm proud of you."

Anderson vanished. Shepard was in darkness. But he was alone. The ghosts were gone. Though his body was still in agony, his soul was no longer so. He opened his eyes. He could scarcely see in the darkness but that mattered for he was renewed with purpose. He flexed his arms and tried to tear the manacles without success. He couldn't think of any biotic attack that would free him.

The ground beneath him shook. An alarm sounded. The ground shook again, the concussion was much more violent, so much that Shepard was knocked on his side. He fell roughly against the hard ground. Faintly he heard gunfire and biotic explosions. His prison door opened, there was Karal, bleeding from a wound to his left shoulder.

"Looks like your little show trial isn't going to plan, Karal." Shepard said. "Release us now and no more harm will come to you."

"When did you ever show mercy to a Batarian?" Karal shouted, his right hand hovered near his holstered pistol. A singularity exploded, it sounded a few hundred yards away. There was shouting, orders and the cries of the wounded.

"I've shown mercy whenever I could." He said.

"Not enough!" Karal shot back. He stepped towards Shepard and towered over his prone and shackled body.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Shepard said quietly. "I mourn all those in the Aratoth system. Just as I mourn all those who were murdered by the Reapers. Elcor, Batarian, Quarian, Asari, Turian, Krogran,Human, Salarian, it doesn't matter what they are, what matters is they're dead, and nothing can bring them back. I mourn them all!"

"More condescending platitudes!"

"Tell me about your family." Shepard asked, his voice calm and quiet.

Karal shook his head and turned away, facing the entrance. The sounds of battle were nearer. A grenade exploded and the earth shook significantly, debris fell from the ceiling.

"I never knew my family. I didn't know who my parents were. I didn't know if I had any brothers or sisters, unless, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins. None of that. I don't have any memories of family. Even though they're gone, you'll still have memories. It's more than I've ever had."

Karal pivoted towards Shepard.

"You dare to speak to me about family! Orphans are outcasts, to be shunned and ignored by any Batarian with a modicum of respect. And what are we now but a species of orphans?! Our entire species is all but extinct! And someone has to answer! Someone will be held responsible! Since the Reapers are gone, you're the next best thing, human!" He yelled in rage.

The ground shook violently with the reverberations of a great explosion just down the hall. Karal lost balance and nearly fell. The sound of gunfire was much louder, more prominent as was the sound of biotic explosions. Karal gripped his pistol.

"Your friends have come to save you. But they're too late."

Karal pointed his pistol towards Shepard. Shepard stared defiantly at his captor. Karal winced and slowly depressed the trigger. A warp field exploded, throwing Karal sideways and slamming him violently into the wall. He dropped to the ground unconscious. Above them stood Sherynia.

She bent down and she lifted Shepard so he was upright. Reaching behind him she undid his manacles. She avoided his gaze as she liberated him. Shepard groaned as he stood up, his entire body ached. She led him outside. He was in a long corridor lined with dozens of cell doors like his own.

"Why?" Shepard asked. The Matriarch looked him directly.

"I was on a family retreat in Thessia when it fell. I saw my entire family, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, sisters, nieces, killed by the Reapers. Well, not just killed, but... harvested. I saw my home of 800 years turn to ash and dust. I spent weeks in the rubble of Thessia. I survived by hiding and... soon there was no food left so I had to...scavenge... what hadn't been harvested by the Reapers. I defied one of the largest taboos of sentient life to stay alive... One day, the Reapers simply died. They left so much devastation and death. The grief and shame fed my anger... Someone had to answer for what the Reapers had done. They were gone and that left you. I believed the Reapers came because of you. Had you not killed one perhaps the Reapers would've ignored us. .. Reading your mind nearly killed me and gave me an epiphany... the amount of pain you carry inside you is more than I ever imagined possible. I realized the error of my ways in following Karal. I am profoundly sorry, Shepard. Forcibly reading another's thoughts is a most heinous violation among Asari. I will not deign to ask your forgiveness."

"Matriarch, it's..."

"They're here!" A familiar voice shouted. Dozens of rushing footsteps.

"Kaidan!?" Shepard shouted.

"The cavalry's here, Shepard!" Kaidan ran towards them. He was the vanguard of dozens of Asari Commandos, behind them was Liara.

"You look terrible. You okay?" Kaidan asked.

"Shepard! Thank the goddess!" Liara yelled.

"Where's Tali?" Shepard asked urgently.

"She's in that cell." Sherynia said, pointing to a nearby cell as an Asari commando arrested her. Another went to Karal's limp body and placed him under arrest.

"I'm afraid she was mistreated by Karal."

Tali was on the floor, her enviro suit torn and ripped in places, her visor was cracked. Her exposed flesh was lined with bruises, welts and something that looked like hives. She was coughing and moaning in agony. She flinched at the door opening. In contrast to his own cell, this one was damp and humid.

"Tali!" Shepard screamed and rushed in the cell.

"Allan?" Her voice, though weary, regained some fire. She coughed, it was a dry, hacking sound and it terrified Shepard.

"We should take her back to the Normandy." Liara urged.

Shepard gingerly gathered her in his arms. "It's me. It's going to be okay."

She mumbled something and her body went limp. Shepard cursed and ran, following Liara, towards the Normandy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: An Illusory Man**

* * *

Shepard ran through the Normandy's cargo bay, cradling Tali. He completely ignored everything and everyone except for the elevator. The elevator couldn't move fast enough. His heart was threatening to explode out of his chest, adrenaline pumping ferociously through his veins. The elevator doors opened at last and he ran towards the medical bay. He didn't look at the doctor as he gently placed her unconscious body on an operating table.

"Doc. You have to save her!" His voice was desperate. The human doctor firmly pushed him aside. He spoke with a strange calm gravitas. He gave the impression of being in complete control despite that not always being the case.

"I'm going to isolate her. Injections of immuno-boosters and antibiotics. Lots of medigel. Going to see if I can repair the suit as well. You need to get looked at, too."

"Will she be okay?"

"Too early to tell. Please leave. I can handle this."

"I'm not leaving!" Shepard insisted.

For the first time since he burst into the Medical Bay, the doctor and Shepard stopped looking at Tali and looked instead at another. The doctor was middle aged and thinly built, though impeccably groomed and dressed, his boots were shined to a deep gloss and his uniform firmly pressed and creased. He had the air of a disciplined man to whom attention to detail was second nature.

"I'm Doc Franklin." He said. "I spent 10 years hitchhiking on different ships, offering my services as a doctor to get around before I joined the Alliance. I've treated a lot of alien species, including a few Quarians on Pilgrimage. I know more about Quarian physiology than anyone who isn't one. She's in good hands. If she makes it through the next few hours, she'll probably recover. Get yourself patched up."

"Thanks, doc."

"Don't mention it."

Shepard sat in the mess hall overlooking the Medical Bay, watching as Dr. Franklin treated Tali. He all but ignored Liara who patiently tended his injuries. He couldn't lose her. Not after all they'd been through. To survive galactic Armageddon only to be done in by a petty Batarian with a grudge was unthinkable and obscene. He couldn't, didn't, want to imagine what his life would be without her.

"Tali will be fine, she's in good hands." Liara assured him. He continued to stare into the distance. Kaidan arrived to the mess hall and sat opposite Shepard and Liara.

"Admiral, there's a lot we need to talk about." He said. Shepard continued to stare, unhearing.

"Admiral Shepard?" Kaidan intoned patiently.

"ALLAN!" Liara yelled. Shepard snapped his head back and looked at Liara with bewilderment. She'd never yelled at him before, she'd never even used his given name before. His eyes slowly regained focus and he nodded.

"You need to focus on the task at hand. Kaidan and I, without realizing, have been chasing after the same figure."

Kaiden began. "I've been tracking this Batarian for several weeks. He has a brutal track record with kidnapping people and selling them as slaves. He was part of the fleet that retook earth and he had a lot of run-ins with humans. He was one of the few SIU officers left over but the Hegemony dishonourably discharged him, he was urging they go to war to recapture past glory. We don't know when, but he was contacted by an old associate of yours who contracted him for a job. To kidnap you and put you on trial."

"Who?"

"The Illusive Man." Liara said softly.

"How is he even still alive?" Shepard asked.

"Unknown." Kaiden said. "But thanks to more of Traynor's fine work, we've been able to track The Illusive Man's location."

"Where is he?" Shepard asked.

"We're on our way, ETA 5 hours. Acheron Station. It's the same station where the Lazarus project took place."

Shepard said nothing and looked back at the Medical Bay.

"I realize this is a lot to take in Admiral, but we'd be honoured if you took part in the assault. We have the squad of Asari commandos that Liara borrowed."

"I'll do it." He said, continuing to stare at Dr. Franklin treating Tali. "This bullshit has to end!" He slammed his first on the table and didn't notice he'd re-opened a wound that Liara had mended. Patiently, Liara re-mended the wound and remained with him in the Mess Hall. The two sat together in silence, watching Dr. Franklin working to save Tali's life. By her presence alone, Shepard found calm and peace. Gradually Liara saw the familiar reawakening of his firm posture, his determined eyes. He was bent and damaged, but not irreparably broken. And when the call came that they were nearing The Illusive Man's base, the Shepard of legend was back.

Shepard was geared in generic N7 Armour. His personal Armour was back on Rannoch along with all of the modifications and customizations he'd picked up over the years. The armour wasn't a perfect fit, it felt a little tight it some places. He was equipped with a Mattock Assault Rifle and a Scorpion side arm. It felt strange to be geared up again. He hadn't practiced his biotics since the war and had no idea how attempting to use them would fare. The shuttle was populated by the Asari commandos who'd rescued him from his imprisonment along with Kaidan and Liara. The Shuttle and the Normandy approached the station from opposite directions. Both had their stealth systems engaged but Kaidan figured Cerberus would have countermeasures for their stealth systems. The base had been modified with extra turrets and multiple targeting ladars.

"We're being painted by ladar. Normandy, take out those guns." The shuttle pilot ordered.

"Roger." Joker's voice came over the comms. "Activating the Electronics Warfare suite, trying to hack the targeting ladars."

While the shuttle swerved violently to avoid being tracked by the shuttle's cannons, the more formidable Normandy swooped from below. Its Thanix cannons destroyed three turrets in a single pass. Joker banked the ship hard to avoid the fire emanating from the station. The Normandy's EW suite went to work, slowly cracking through the firewalls that guarded the station's targeting sensors. Had EDI been onboard, such a task would've taken seconds. As it was, the EW was software was inefficient, and it took a full minute before the targeting ladars had been fully hacked. The shuttle spent the entire sequence banking and climbing steeply to avoid being targeted. By such time as the ladars had been hacked, the Normandy had destroyed all but one of the turrets guarding the station.

"Good job, Joker. Now get those doors open!" The shuttle pilot said.

"Not bad for a shuttle pilot. Hacking the docking bay doors. Doors opening. You got 30 seconds before the system goes back online and the doors close!" Joker radioed the shuttle as the station's docking bay doors opened. The shuttle sped towards their doors, exceeding safe approaching speed. The shuttle barreled through the doors, the reverse thrusters firing at maximum burn for the last 500 meters of the approach. The shuttle landed in the shuttle bay, narrowly avoiding colliding with a wall by inches. The shuttle had scarcely stopped when it came under small arms fire.

"Alright," Kaidan said, standing by the door. "There's a dozen mechs firing at us. Set up a barrier as soon as the door opens. Head for the crates to the right of the door. Everyone ready?"

Everyone in the cabin stood up. Kaidan turned to Shepard and Liara.

"Not you."

"What?" Shepard asked incredulously.

"Stay behind until we start mopping up. I am not risking your lives."

"Bullshit! You can't drag me here and they force me to stay behind."

"I can. You're not the only Spectre on this mission, remember. You're not fit for front line duty, you're here as favour because I owe you."

"Shepard, he's right." Liara said softly.

"Damn it! The Illusive Man's here. I have to deal with him!" Shepard readied his rifle, his eyes burning holes in the hull of the shuttle.

"Open the damn door!" He shouted.

"ALLAN!" Liara yelled and slammed her fist against the bulkhead behind her. Shepard looked at Liara like she'd hit him with a sledgehammer. The commandos looked at Liara as if she'd given birth to a fully grown Thresher Maw. She resumed in a voice that was calm and firm. "We need you to stay behind while the commandos deal with the mechs and any other forces. Then, you and I can deal with The Illusive Man, once and for all. You're not the only one with a score to settle."

Shepard quietly nodded to Liara and Kaidan. "Let's go!" Kaidan ordered. The shuttle door opened. A biotic barrier unleashed as the doors opened. Kaidan threw a smoke grenade and rushed out of the shuttle, the Asari commandos followed in his wake. Shepard and Liara stayed in the cabin, listening to the sound of gunfire and biotic explosions. Liara held Shepard's arm. He stared at the cold floor of the shuttle. After a few minutes the battle died down.

"Right! I think that's the last of them!" They heard Kaidan yell. "Hack the terminals and find a schematic of this place. Link with the Normandy to see if you can locate life signatures! Beta platoon, fan out and see if there's any more mechs lurking about!"

"Yes, sir!"

Kaidan appeared back at the shuttle door and nodded to them.

"I'm sorry I had to do that, Admiral. But I don't want to know what would happen if I lost you."

"It's okay. I was out of line." Shepard said as they stepped out the shuttle. The shuttle bay brought back memories. His rude awakening after being killed by the Collectors. His meeting Miranda, her quick disposal of the traitor Wilson. The ground was littered with the debris of the destroyed hulls of FENRIS and Orcus mechs. Despite this being a shuttle bay, there were no other shuttles. A dozen commandos were standing guard while one worked feverishly on a computer console.

"Did you encounter any troops?" Shepard asked.

"Only mechs so far. I don't think Cerberus has much personnel left over. A lot of escape pods have been jettisoned recently, and there aren't any shuttles left. The staff must've fled when they found out we were coming."

"That's good news." Liara said.

"Commander? We may have found the location of the target."

Kaidan, Shepard and Liara briskly walked over to the console. The screen displayed an overlay of the facility. "We've detected one organic life sign; it's in this room at the far end of this station. There are three routes to this room but there is only one possible exit or entrance."

"Let's go!" Shepard said.

"Beta platoon! Meet us at these coordinates." Kaidan said, transmitting and uploading through his Omni-Tool. The apparent location of the Illusive Man led them through many of the sections that Shepard had passed through here on his escape from this station years before.

After Wilson's sabotage, the base had been retaken and re-activated by Cerberus. As they made their way through the labs they saw what Cerberus had been up to. The labs were littered with the bodies of husks that had been experimented with. The husks' synthetic bodies had been transplanted with organic body parts, everything from limbs and skin grafts to internal organs. The organic body parts were necrotic and rotting. Some of the subjects were oozing with malignant puss, others were hosting colonies of writhing maggots. The odour was unbearable, thickly laced with the pungent decay of rotting flesh and parched synthetic tissues. It made the stench of the Collector ships smell like a rose garden. A few of the commandos heaved and wretched. Even oxygen masks couldn't mask the pervasive putrefying aroma. Throughout the labs they found data logs and diaries of scientists working on turning synthetic tissue back into organic tissue. The diaries and logs were filled with complaints of failures and difficult working conditions.

"I don't know what's worse, turning people into husks, or trying to turn husks back into people." Shepard wondered aloud.

"I wonder why they were doing this?" Kaidan asked.

"The Illusive Man implanted himself with Reaper implants." Liara began. "Now he's attempting to reverse the procedure. His implants have most likely stopped working."

"There's some irony for you." Kaidan remarked as they pressed on, making their way towards The Illusive Man's final refuge. They came at last to an elevator. The elevator itself was in a large room, shaped like a large foyer or lobby. There were two other corridors that led to this room, as if every path in the station led to this room. The walls were lined with paintings and tapestries ancient and new depicting the mythical beast from which Cerberus took its name.

The elevator entrance was rectangular and narrow, the canopy inscribed with Cerberus' insignia, backlight in red. Above and to each side of the elevator were two emergency lights lit blue. It reminded Shepard of the three eyed beast he'd seen in his dreams. Below these emergency lights were two antiquated busts of a three headed dog. A third bust was inside the elevator itself. Beta platoon was waiting for them.

"Report. Have you tried going in?"

"Negative. The only entrance is this small elevator. There are no hidden tunnels or large passageways. The elevator can only accommodate two people at a time."

Shepard grabbed his Mattock Assault Rifle, Liara readied her pistol.

"Kaidan, sync your Omni-Tool to mine. I'm going to open a com-link so you can monitor us." Liara said.

"Good. As soon as you're up there I'm going to call the elevator down and send people up."

"Good idea." Shepard said. He turned to look at Liara.

"Are you ready?" He asked her.

She nodded and looked upon him with her intense blue eyes. "Are you?" There was a tiny hint of concern in her voice. He heard it, though he doubted anyone else did. He nodded to her.

They entered the small elevator and activated it. The button which activated it was located on the bust of Cerberus. Each head faced forward, their mouths frozen in an eternal snarl, it seemed like saliva and gore were dripping from the mouths of these ferocious beasts. The elevator rushed upwards with considerable speed.

"Great, more elevators." Liara sighed.

"Just like old times." Shepard said.

The ride took half a minute before it was over. The doors opened. They were in a massively large but modestly adorned room. The room was adorned by a lone furnishing, a painting of The Ferryman of Hell by Gustave Dore. Sitting before the painting was a lone figure, sitting in an antique wheelchair, a pistol on his lap. The figure's face was hideously scarred with decaying Reaper implants, his organic flesh necrotic. It was so black it was impossible to discern where one began and the other ended. He was a dozen meters away from them but they could smell him, the stench of death and dry, rotting flesh. Shepard and Liara stepped out of the elevator. The doors closed behind him. The Illusive Man activated a computer console.

"I'm locking out the elevator, just to ensure we have some privacy. Nice of you to join me, Rear Admiral Allan Augustus Shepard vas Normandy. Even the Caesars would've blushed at the length of your name. It's a pity your whore couldn't come along as well but I'm pleased you brought your loyal lapdog, Dr. Liara T'Soni. The last Shadow Broker wouldn't have taken so long to discover what was going on." He sneered.

Shepard flinched angrily and gritted his teeth. "I can't say I'm pleased to see you survived." Shepard said, his voice an icy growl. His entire body tensed.

"I assure you, the feeling's mutual." The Illusive Man puffed on a cigarette and then coughed hoarsely. The hand that held his cigarette trembled when it was held aloft.

"The Reapers took the Citadel before I could make it aboard. I had to watch from afar as you ruined what I was working for."

"So, this isn't about humanity anymore, is it? This is all about revenge. Hiring that petty reporter, that Batarian and the Asari, staging a show trial that you could watch. A final insult before your body fails because of all your Reaper implants."

"I wasn't just an observer. I was the judge. That reporter you chewed out was sent to prod and provoke you. The Batarian was the prosecutor and the Asari was the interrogator. Like many, I wanted to get to the bottom of what happened on the Citadel. Now that you're here and the Asari underwent some kind of cowardly epiphany, solving the mystery doesn't hold the same appeal it once did. Mysteries are compelling, they keep people curious." He deeply inhaled on his cigarette and coughed some more. Then he resumed his tirade.

"I've read your psych reports. You're weak, Shepard, crying everyday like a baby over spilled milk, recurring nightmares. The death of one is an inconvenience, the death of a million is a statistic and it's why you were never good enough for the job. I came to that realization too late. I tried to convince you, but like a stubborn mule you wouldn't listen. The final goal is all that matters and how that goal is achieved isn't even of tertiary importance. What I once saw in you is gone, no more. What Harbinger feared about you is gone. Did you know it, personally, if you'll excuse the anthropomorphism, bombarded the memorial site of the first Normandy? I think that's fairly unprecedented."

The Illusive Man inhaled from his cigarette and coughed some more when he exhaled. The revelation surprised Shepard and Liara.

"I know what's gnawing at you the most, Shepard. More than the deaths, more than the mysteries over how the war was resolved, or even the mystery of how you survived. It's that deep down, you know I was right. You saw how close we were. I was nanoangstroms away from completing my work and then you ruined it all. You saw how tough my forces were to fight. Imagine gaining full control of the Reapers. Imagine controlled Reapers being the vanguards for humankind to thrive. Humanity could've dominated the galaxy in a way that even the Protheans would've deemed unimaginable. No more dealing with the condescension of the other races. We could've ruled the galaxy. Instead we had to do things your way, a naive, ignorant, pie in the sky idealist, and look where we are now? Scarcely any better off than the Asari, Batarians, Turians or any other of the inferior races you extended olive branches to. A paragon? You're a renegade of your own species. A race traitor. Judas would've been happy with a tiny fraction of your earnings. I'm glad I will expire before the vids of your treacherous exploits are released to the greater public."

"You were indoctrinated!" Shepard thundered. "You were just another servant of the Reapers. You did more to harm humanity than help it!"

The Illusive Man shuddered. "I...fought against it." He looked away and dropped his cigarette. Then he looked back at Shepard and Liara. "My goal remained unchanged! My research helped humanity!" He screamed. Shepard had never heard him raise his voice before.

"If you've hacked into my psych reports, you haven't read them enough. I will mourn these deaths all my life, but I made the best decision I could under any circumstance. Nothing you can say or do will change that. I've made my peace with the dead. And look at you, you can't even walk, your precious Reaper implants don't work anymore, I know more than ever I was right to defy you. Cerberus is destroyed. Ideas never die, but they can fade into irrelevance. This war has proven once and for all that you and the Reapers were wrong!"

The Illusive Man's Omni-Tool blinked.

"I'm guessing your elevator isn't locked anymore." Shepard allowed himself to smirk.

"Your friends are too damn effective!" He cursed, angrily pressing his Omni-Tool, trying to reverse the hack. The Illusive Man threw up his hands in frustration. Then, looking at Shepard he reached for his sidearm. His fingers had hardly touched the pistol when a shot rang loud, blowing the pistol out his hand. He cried aloud and grabbed his hand, bleeding profusely. Shepard guessed he was missing a finger or two.

"Too slow." Shepard said, keeping his rifle pointed at the Illusive Man. "This ends now. I'm not going to have the ghosts of my past haunt my life anymore. Now that the Reapers are gone and I've sorted myself out, dealing with you is just housekeeping."

"You don't have the guts to do it!" The Illusive Man hissed. His breathing was laboured and hoarse.

"This isn't about guts, it's about justice, it's about doing the right thing, it's about not surrendering to fear, and it's about saving ourselves because all life is precious. It's about moving on. Something I'll be able to do very soon."

"More idealistic bullshit!" The Illusive Man spat. "I have nothing more to say to you!"

"How about goodbye?" Shepard pulled the trigger. He fired. Again. And again. And again. The Illusive Man's body disintegrated as it was torn apart by the bullets, necrotic flesh and synthetic gore exploding around the freshly minted carcass. He continued to pull the trigger even as the thermal clip ejected. He fired a dozen empty rounds before Liara reached up and gently touched Shepard's arm. He stopped as soon as he felt her soft hand on his arms. He looked to her and regained his composure.

"It's finished." She said softly.

"Yes, it is." He looked upon her with admiration and gratitude.

"Thank you." He said. The two friends held another gently as the elevator opened behind them, Kaidan and a commando entered the room.

"Nicely done." Kaidan said. "Let's get you back to the Normandy. The doc's got some good news."


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

Tali lay awake in the Medical Bay of the Normandy. On either side of her stood Liara and Shepard. Both held her hands. Her environment suit had been patched and stitched up. She was hooked up to three different intravenous lines and an extra filter had been added to her facemask.

"Thanks to Tali's well above average exposure to outside atmospheres, bacteria and other micro-organic matter, her immune system was strong enough to survive the poisoning and beating that she was subject to. That her exposure was less than 24 hours is another reason why she survived, any longer and her survival would've been doubtful at best. It's a good thing we had the Normandy hunting this guy. He gave us a good chase from what I gather. As soon as you get back to Rannoch her suit needs to be replaced. I've patched it up as best I can but it's not fit for use anymore. I'm prescribing a full range of antibiotics and herbal supplements, for the next 3 weeks Tali should remain strictly within her suit at all times. For the next week I want proper rest and relaxation for her. Fatigue and coughing should subside in the next few days."

"Thanks Doc, you're a miracle worker." Shepard said, his voice bursting with joy.

The Doctor shrugged his shoulders modestly. "Well, a doctor can only do so much. Sometimes it's down to things you can't control."

"I know the feeling." Shepard said.

Liara and Shepard led Tali on a hover stretcher out of the medical bay towards the shuttle bay. There was a small procession in the shuttle bay, Traynor, Donnelly, Williams, Kaidan and Joker. Like he had months before, Shepard said goodbye to his comrades. He noted he was saying goodbye and not farewell. He had a feeling he would see these people again some day. The last person he came to was Joker.

"Shepard, I'm sorry." He looked down.

"It's okay, Joker. You don't have to apologize."

Joker nodded and the two men saluted.

"Come visit us on Rannoch. We have a guest bedroom setup that hasn't had any guests yet."

"Sorry, Admiral, but I prefer Asari dancers to Quarian ones."

"Your loss." Tali muttered. The cargo bay exploded with laughter. With the goodbyes said, they boarded Liara's shuttle. Shepard closed his eyes as he pictured the Normandy fading from view. He and Tali held hands while they journeyed home.

Liara's shuttle landed just outside their home. Liara walked with Tali and Shepard to the front door of their home. She and Tali said goodbye to another. Liara looked upon Shepard and handed him a data disc.

"This information will ensure Han'Gerrel ceases to be a problem for you."

"Thanks... For everything. You're... an amazing friend." Shepard said.

"The best." Tali said gratefully.

"I hope you... take care of yourself." Shepard said awkwardly.

"I am not going to spend my days pining for what could have been. I've long accepted the situation. That you're happy and safe is more than enough. I will always watch over you. I look forward to seeing you again, when your home is more... crowded."

They parted and watched as Liara's shuttle flew away into the sunset.

"Allan," Tali suddenly sounded very cross despite her recent ordeal. "You mean to tell me all this time Liara's been crushing on you and you knew and you didn't tell me!"

Shepard stammered. "Well...I...uh...didn't think it mattered... I...uh"

"You didn't think it mattered? Huh! Someone very close to us who we've known for years has feelings for you and you never mentioned it to me? Keelah! What's this entire trust thing you keep going on about, hmm?"

"Well...I thought you knew... uh..." He looked away and started rubbing his hair. All of a sudden it was getting very hot.

"And all this time this has been going on and you never once told me? Really, Allan. Next time Liara visits we're going to have to make up for a lot of lost time!"

"We're...what?"

Tali laughed uncontrollably and clapped her hands. Shepard frowned at her and shook his head. He looked like the victim of a practical joke, not the grand saviour of the galaxy.

"Allan, You should've seen yourself! You've killed Reapers, saved the galaxy, but what scares you is me getting mad at you! I knew you had a weakness! I'm disappointed it took me so long to find it!"

He couldn't maintain his serious facade; he chuckled as he led the hover stretcher into their home. She continued laughing and giggling.

"So you were only kidding."

Tali fixed him with her eyes and there was a pregnant pause before she answered. Shepard was surprised that he was nervous waiting for her answer.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Tali said coyly.

"Come on, fess up."

"No. I think I'm going to keep this a secret! After all, you've been keeping a secret."

"I wasn't keeping it a secret. Come on. Doctors orders." Shepard said, leading the hover stretcher towards the bedroom. "You're supposed to have plenty of rest and relaxation. Keeping secrets is very stressful."

"Yes but my immune system's stronger, remember? I think I can handle one little secret."

"Captain's order's then." He said.

"There are special circumstances where it's the duty of a Quarian to disobey her Captain. This is one of them."

"As a formal request from the Alliance to the Quarian Government." Shepard said.

"You'll have to do better than that!"

Shepard sighed in exasperation.

"Tell you what, Allan. You be extra-nice to me while I'm recovering and maybe, just maybe, I'll tell you."

"Deal." He said, gathering her in his arms and gently laid her on the bed. She waited until Shepard was standing upright before talking again.

"Why did you drop me here? I don't want to be here!" She chided. "I want to be outside on our lawn, basking in the sunset. And brew me a pot of herbal tea! And get me my Omni-Tool! And can you also buy season tickets for the Opera? Oh, and can you also buy me a personal luxury yacht?"

"Don't push your luck!" Shepard crossed his arms and leaned back. They laughed ecstatically and Shepard joined her in bed. Together they watched Fleet and Flotilla, the unabridged musical version. They slept peacefully together and for the first time in a long, long time, Shepard's sleep was free from nightmares.

* * *

Tali was worried and restless. It had been five days since she'd returned from her kidnapping. She was feeling better physically and seeing the news reports of Han'Gerrel mysterious resignation had been very gratifying. Allan had stayed with her, preparing her meals, buying her a new visor and suit, attending to her every need. He'd spent some time working, but otherwise he'd been with her every instant since their return. Except for now. Shepard had been out for two hours and he wasn't answering his calls. He'd gone out to get some food at the market but there was no way shopping would take that long. She called Shala'Raan on her Omni-Tool.

"Yes, Tali?"

"Auntie Raan, have you seen Allan?"

"Eh, no, I haven't recently." There was something odd in her voice.

"I know that voice. What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm being honest with you, my child. I haven't seen Admiral Shepard in... some time."

"Come on! What is it?" Tali didn't often get angry with her dear aunt, but this was threatening to overturn that tradition.

"Well, I can't really remember the last specific time I saw him."

"You have a great memory! What is it?! What are you hiding?!"

"It's... nothing serious. I promise you." Shala'Raan said soothingly.

"Nothing serious? How can..."

"Trust me, my child. You'll see Admiral Shepard very soon."

Tali's Omni-Tool buzzed and blinked. It was Shepard.

"Oh, keelah, it's him. Thank you, auntie."

"You're welcome, my child." Tali terminated her comm link with Shala'Raan and opened one with Shepard.

"Allan? Where are you? I was worried!"

Shepard smiled and laughed reassuringly.

"It's okay, Tali. I was out shopping for groceries and thought I'd go shopping for a present while I was at it."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the front door. My hands are full. I need you to let me in, please."

"Keelah!" Tali cursed as she got up and walked towards the front door. This had better be a good present. Why couldn't he just use his Omni-Tool to open the door like always? There were some things about humans she still had a lot to learn. The door opened and there was Rear Admiral Allan Augustus Shepard vas Normandy, standing proudly, holding the hands of two young Quarian children, a boy and a girl, no older than 6 years old.

"Mrs. vas Normandy, may I introduce Rial'Williams nar Ithaca and Seeto'Anderson nar Ithaca. Kids, say hi to your new mother."

The End


End file.
